Comic 1603 - Ongoing Conflict

15th Aug 2018, 12:00 AM
Ongoing Conflict
Average Rating: 5 (20 votes)

Author Notes:

Tokyo Rose 15th Aug 2018, 12:00 AM edit delete
Tokyo Rose
Incidentally, the song "Cell Block Tango" from the musical Chicago is a grade-A, first-class fucking ear worm.
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StLOrca 15th Aug 2018, 12:08 AM edit delete reply

The script for this page is HILARIOUS. Well done. Jeff will be known as “Rapeface” for the rest of his life.
Sheela 16th Aug 2018, 9:55 AM edit delete reply

You know what would be really funny ?

If the whole incident is filed under "Rapeface Jeff" and not his real name. :D
StLOrca 16th Aug 2018, 7:51 PM edit delete reply

Yes—it should be canon!
StLOrca 16th Aug 2018, 7:51 PM edit delete reply

Yes—it should be canon!
Rigor 16th Aug 2018, 8:22 PM edit delete reply
Security probably has a file on him already, so they can simply add “rapeface” to his list of aliases.
megados 15th Aug 2018, 12:22 AM edit delete reply
I think everybody's day is going south. Now Ivy and Jordan are getting dragged into it. Dialogue here had me laughing; great job!

@Tokyo Rose, re:A/N, I haven't heard it yet; I'll have to look it up. BTW good to see you out and about. :D

*edit* @Tokyo Rose, I looked it up, and I had heard it; I didn't know the name of it. I can see your point if you hear it enough.
Lurker314 15th Aug 2018, 12:33 AM edit delete reply
It will be interesting to see if fuck am depot security has enough clearance to be able to validate that he is dealing with a Cassian. If not, this could be an even more fun day...

But I know you two. You two aren't THAT evil...
kraznor 15th Aug 2018, 2:39 AM edit delete reply
There not ?
Evervigilant 15th Aug 2018, 4:08 AM edit delete reply
Tokyo Rose, just about every song in Chicago is like that. My favorite is Mr Cellophane.
Sheela 16th Aug 2018, 9:54 AM edit delete reply

Ah, she may be complaining because I linked to cell Block Tango in a post - That's what she gets for following my links! >_<

And yes, the Mr Cellophane song was really good, and heart wrenching, talk about weapon grade self-loathing there! Frankly, that one number was the whole reason for that guy in the whole movie.
megados 16th Aug 2018, 10:02 AM edit delete reply
That's where I heard it before!
Greenwood Goat 15th Aug 2018, 4:41 AM edit delete reply
I can see that happening...

Security: Now, don't give me any trouble Pauline!Ophelia-

Ivy: How d'you manage to pronounce the pling?!

Security: It's an android thing... Pauline!Ophelia, we're not lawless here, and you're going to have to account for what you did to Rape-Face Jeff-


Security: It is now - I've added it as an AKA on your record.


Opaulinia: Yeah! His name's actually "Twatwaffle".


Security: ..."Twatwaffle" has also been added as an AKA on your record.


Opaulinia: Add "Cactus-Humping Shitboot" as well!

Security: That's enough from you. I'm sure Mister Twatwaffle is going to start behaving himself now - you should too.

Jordan: Queue up "Talking Asshole" for addition as well, just in case. Oh, and "Prettyboy". And "Catamite". I've actually got a whole list of them for future use, if you're interested... :-D

DLKmusic 15th Aug 2018, 1:21 PM edit delete reply

Mr. Twatwaffle...

JinFeng: That's "MR. TWATWAFFLE" to you, Bot-Bitch!
Ophelia: And that's "MS. BOT-BITCH" to you, you wank.... Mr. Twatwaffle!

LOL, I'm dyin here!
Sheela 16th Aug 2018, 10:19 AM edit delete reply

Oh man, that is hilarious.

Of course, it could always get worse :

Security : "…"
Security : "Actually .."
Jinfeng : "What ?"
Security : "I think I'll just file the report under the name, 'Rape-face Jeff' .."
Jinfeng : "What the fuck?"
Security : "Hrmph, it won't let me, it says your real name is Jeff Jinfeng, how annoying."
Jinfeng : "That's because it's my REAL name!"
Security : "Real name, huh ?"
Jinfeng : "Yeah!"
Security : "Ah, I managed to change it!"
Jinfeng : "Wait, what?"
Security : "It even got confirmed by the Tokyo Rose AI."
Jinfeng : "WHAAAT?!"
Security : "Ooohh, she has additional aliases for you."
Security : "Cockmuthering Fuckwomble"
Security : "Failed Abortion"
Security : "Fudge Packer"
Security : "Ass Goblin"
Jinfeng : "... hey!"
Security : "Cum Bubble"
Security : "Fuck Stain"
Security : "Douche Sucker"
Security : "Cock Smoker"
Jinfeng : " .. wha.. hey .."
Security : "Butt Moocher"
Security : "Piece of Cum Cake"
Security : "Scrotum Breath"
Security : "Shit Licker"
Jinfeng : "..wait..wait.."
Security : "Schmuck"
Security : "Douchewaffle"
Security : "Useless Moron"
Security : "Queef Guzzler"
Security : "Pathetic Parasite"
Security : "Vaginal Bloodfart"
Jinfeng : "OH COME ON !!!!!"
Jinfeng : "That's going too far!"
Security : "Hmm."
Security : "I agree, I think she went too far there with the 'Piece of CumCake'."
Security : "I've met people who would pay good money for quality Cum Cake!"
Security : "I'll strike that off the list, it would be a stain on good Cum Cake to be connected to you."
Security : "...."
Security : "Oh, there's a second addendum to the list, wanna hear?"
Jinfeng : "NO!"
Security : "Aw"
Eli Cosmanis 15th Aug 2018, 5:58 AM edit delete reply

surprised hes not flinging more insults. people tend to be angry when their arm is broken.
Fafhred 15th Aug 2018, 6:03 AM edit delete reply

* Wonders if she will have to break that guard-bot, too *
Sleel 15th Aug 2018, 6:55 AM edit delete reply

And so, Jeff acquires a more descriptive name. One wonders how long it takes till everyone in the depot calls him Rape Face. Or maybe RFJ.
Romfire 15th Aug 2018, 6:56 AM edit delete reply
I am just wondering if androids have any kind of rights in this back water dive. Other than the right to have their brain squished.
DLKmusic 15th Aug 2018, 1:27 PM edit delete reply

I was kind of wondering the same thing, although if this is the same area where Marcus & TeeDee had their fight, then the answer would be yes.
Sheela 16th Aug 2018, 4:13 PM edit delete reply

Considering that the security guy is an android, I would tend towards "yes".
Tom 15th Aug 2018, 8:52 AM edit delete reply
Does anyone else here Benedict Cumberbatch as the voice of depot security?
robnot 15th Aug 2018, 11:22 AM edit delete reply
I do now.!! ,, snirk...
Hell's Dragonfly 15th Aug 2018, 1:41 PM edit delete reply
So many laughs in this comic. Those are some truly inventive insults; kudos Rose. IMO Mr. Fuck Am Depot Security must be getting a chuckle out of Mr. Cactus Humping, Rape Face, Twatwaffles predicament.
Naldru 15th Aug 2018, 2:33 PM edit delete reply
I can see an argument for monetary damages, and New Rome would probably be willing to pay for medical expenses. However, Ophelia might also be willing to pay for a billboard based on the MasterCard commercials: cost of medical expenses xxx dollars, fine for disorderly conduct yyy dollars, the look on rape-face wanker's face - priceless.
KarToon12 15th Aug 2018, 5:16 PM edit delete reply

The dialogue on this entire page is gold and deserves an Oscar. XD
jamie59 15th Aug 2018, 6:31 PM edit delete reply

"Ah. OK. Just don't leave a mess when you're done."
Haegan2005 15th Aug 2018, 8:04 PM edit delete reply

okay, this is just bodacious!

Had me laughing so hard!

Some people need marine boot camp just to get a clue, nevermind act on it!
Rashala 16th Aug 2018, 2:53 AM edit delete reply

I have a feeling when she reveals who she is that guy and security are both gonna agree rapeface is lucky she "just" broke his arm.
Sheela 16th Aug 2018, 4:03 PM edit delete reply

Not sure, she may be outside of her jurisdiction.
Deoxy 16th Aug 2018, 4:40 PM edit delete reply
Oh, she's definitely outside her official jurisdiction, but amazingly dangerous groups like the Cassians are generally going to be able to act as though they have jurisdiction in any area reasonably close by... with "reasonably" being pretty flexible, depending on how dangerous and how near to a more serious counter influence (New Troy, for instance) they are.

Any place closer to Nova Roma than New Troy is going to find subservience to Cassians to be very tempting (at least, in any kind of short-term situation - "Here, have whatever you want, as long as you GO AWAY afterwards").
megados 16th Aug 2018, 6:49 PM edit delete reply
I think the area can vary considerably, when one of their own is involved. :D
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