Comic 1123 - Murder turd revenge...

13th Jan 2015, 9:00 PM
Murder turd revenge...
Average Rating: 5 (21 votes)
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Comments:

Highlander55 13th Jan 2015, 9:05 PM edit delete reply
It just gets better and better! Or is it worse and then more worse.
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:43 AM edit delete reply

hehe yeah thingsd are kinda like that :D
Dragonrider 13th Jan 2015, 9:23 PM edit delete reply

As I seem to recall it was Ada that tried to capture one of these beasties wasn't it?
On another note I suppose that Douchie's recruiters have told these guys they really don't need life insurance because they are the best armed and armored troops on the planet and no one would dare to try to stop them, dependents sorry about that.
Now then think its time for Dr. Silver to release those super duper guardians she activated earlier.
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:44 AM edit delete reply

it was a baby - not a full grown one :D
Stormwind13 14th Jan 2015, 4:23 PM edit delete reply

Actually, she tried to make FRIENDS with it, Dragonrider. Um, something completely and utterly ALIEN to a murder-turd, I fear. And apparently the juvenile murder-turds are even MEANER... in order to survive in the first place.

I think they should jump back into the ship. I think it has some anti-ship weapon systems (pair of heavy auto-cannons). And is probably too tough a chew for the murder-turd to waste the time trying to get to them.
mjkj 14th Jan 2015, 5:44 PM edit delete reply

Dr. Silver was about to activate them but then stopped mid-sentence...
Haegan2005 13th Jan 2015, 9:26 PM edit delete reply

See, he did say Puleese!

But the canned food simply was not being polite so he decided enough was enough. He was just going to go get a refill and dang politeness!
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:44 AM edit delete reply

quite :D
jamie59 13th Jan 2015, 9:31 PM edit delete reply

The doesn't drive into a frenzy list should be easer & smaller.

TeeDee you have to promise to keep its litter box clean first.
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:44 AM edit delete reply

yeah she would need a bulldozer :D
Sheela 14th Jan 2015, 6:48 PM edit delete reply

Heck, if it was up to TeeDee, she would BE the bulldozer. :D

And ofcourse she wants one, it's perfectly suited for her 'special' moodswings.
plymayer 13th Jan 2015, 11:57 PM edit delete reply

I know how to stop it - just yell, "Stop! Spot, heal".
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:45 AM edit delete reply

LOL
Stormwind13 14th Jan 2015, 4:18 PM edit delete reply

Damn, if that worked plymayer... I think everyone would fall over laughing. Some might expire from laughing so hard. :-D
Rashala 13th Jan 2015, 11:58 PM edit delete reply

I KNEW tedee was gonna say she wants one. RIght now she is imagining riding oen in full combat armor and weapon mounts
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:45 AM edit delete reply

you got that right :D
Sheela 14th Jan 2015, 6:50 PM edit delete reply

Oh my yes, a well armored Murder Turd with a PPC-cannon mount on top of it, and extra large highgrade military batteries hanging of it's sides, would make TeeDee a very happy camper. :)
Rashala 15th Jan 2015, 2:33 PM edit delete reply

It's Not a Mecha-SMaug But its a close second on tedees wish list of Death dealing destruction
Sheela 15th Jan 2015, 8:31 PM edit delete reply

To be fair, TeeDee wouldn't be satisfieid until she could throw mountains at her enemies.
Quieteyes 17th Jan 2015, 5:01 AM edit delete reply
I gotta admit it took me by surprise. But I seriously LOL'd when she said it. :-)
Draginbeard 14th Jan 2015, 12:09 AM edit delete reply

It hates flashing lights and loud noises.... Quick, somebody throw a gameboy at it, then run the other way!
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:45 AM edit delete reply

hahh good one :D
Stormwind13 14th Jan 2015, 4:16 PM edit delete reply

You probably look tastier than the gameboy, Draginbeard. So it would probably still chase you down and eat you. It would just be in an enraged state when it did it. Not that murder-turds probably have a NICE state. :-P
Draginbeard 14th Jan 2015, 10:13 PM edit delete reply

Heh, my luck is such that the gameboy I throw will give it seizures!
mjkj 14th Jan 2015, 1:33 AM edit delete reply

*lol* murder turd likes redshirts... :p

Awwwww, and Connie is trying to save the nice customs lady *hugs her*

...hmmm, seems like TeeDee likes it :)

Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:46 AM edit delete reply

redhirts are tasty!

well the customs lady was nice to her :D
mjkj 14th Jan 2015, 5:46 PM edit delete reply

Indeed she was. I am all for Connie to keep her... :D
Sheela 14th Jan 2015, 6:51 PM edit delete reply

It's almost like the Redshirts were designed to enrage Murderturds !!


.... do you have anything to say to your defence, Centcomm ?
DLKmusic 14th Jan 2015, 1:39 AM edit delete reply

I like the customs lady! can we keep her? can we? huh? huh? huh?

:)

Seriously, Really cool of Connie to save her!
mjkj 14th Jan 2015, 3:15 AM edit delete reply

Seconded.

Yeah, she was really nice to Connie - she deserves saving. Maybe Connie really can keep her? ;)

Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:46 AM edit delete reply

hehehe - that first part sounds so wrong :D
DLKmusic 15th Jan 2015, 5:45 PM edit delete reply

well, I could have added a "Pretty Puleeeeeze" and sad puppy dog eyes, but I don't do that as well as Sheela, lol.
Stormwind13 14th Jan 2015, 4:15 PM edit delete reply

Connie is good people, DLK. That is why a lot of the commenters want her to be okay, I think. :-)
Sheela 14th Jan 2015, 6:52 PM edit delete reply

Heh, I wonder if the customs lady wouldn't have a word or two to say about being kept as a pet.
Stormwind13 14th Jan 2015, 7:59 PM edit delete reply

Maybe not as many as you might think, Sheela. Since she might have become LUNCH without it, being a pet (especially a PAMPERED one) might not seem so bad. And the travel would be exciting. :-D
xpacetrue 14th Jan 2015, 5:17 AM edit delete reply

You know, if those red shirts... [Ahem] I mean, red-armored Nova Roma soldiers - were smart, they would have held their fire, called for backup, and tried to evacuate the area... If they were smart. Though, to be fair, it would be easy for anyone in that situation to crap a brick and panic, despite training. I guess it comes down to experience and being able to keep one's cool under pressure.
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:47 AM edit delete reply

yeha this is a drop a ton of bricks and panic .. maybe they might get lucky
jas 14th Jan 2015, 7:42 AM edit delete reply

You didn't need those entrails did you, Mr. Red Armor Guys?

I love the use of the old adage "Feet, don't fail me now!" Love it!
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:47 AM edit delete reply

heheh :D
DizzasterJuice 14th Jan 2015, 8:53 AM edit delete reply

Did Connie's eyes just change color? If so, I'm guessing that's supposed to happen in defensive acceleration mode?
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:48 AM edit delete reply

Yes Connie is tapping her emergency power and boosting her speed one of the few mods she does have.
Sheela 14th Jan 2015, 6:54 PM edit delete reply

I'm guessing her batteries won't last long while in that mode.

But then "lasting" and "long" ususally don't apply when facing off against a murderturd, so not a big issue there.
Centcomm 15th Jan 2015, 8:45 PM edit delete reply

Her reserve batterys no. her primary power will still be ok .. Connie has limiters to prevent loss of power - thats kinda fatal to non combat models or ones with special mods.
KarToon12 14th Jan 2015, 9:40 AM edit delete reply

Of course Tee-Dee would want one...XDXD
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:48 AM edit delete reply

she sees it as a kindred spirit :D
Sheela 14th Jan 2015, 6:55 PM edit delete reply

I wonder if the Murderturd does the same ?

"OMG, a ragefueled android ? ... I WANT ONE !!"
And then it would be stupid enough to try and eat TeeDee.
Tokyo Rose 15th Jan 2015, 5:37 PM edit delete reply

They'd get along like a house afire, wouldn't they?

(you've seen a house fire, right?)
Sheela 15th Jan 2015, 8:37 PM edit delete reply

Oh yes, I have.
I have not set a house *on* fire, but I digress.


For some reason, I have this odd idea that murderturd moms teach their younglings by giving them daily beatings, and that if another murderturd mom can defeat the current mom, the hatchling will transfer over to the stronger mom, leaving the weakling mom behind. Ofcourse, the stronger mom would have to beat the newcomer hatchling a bit extra to make sure she didn't get a weak hatchling.

All this fighting inbetween themselves ensures that they are always at peak fighting condition, thus ensuring the species survival.

It is unknown how the males manage to impregnate the mommy murderturds, but it's currently theorized that it involves violence .. lots 'n' LOTS of violence !

Meanwhile, TeeDee would probably kill some hatchlings mother and beat off the hatchling, because Ada would plead for it's life .. making the hatchling all confused and latch on to TeeDee as "mommy" ... and voilá ... TeeDee Murderturd Mommy, with a brandnew steed to ride around. :)

They would greet one another by having Teedee headbutt it in the eye (only semi-soft spot on the head). And biologists would all be surprised at just how good Murderturd memory actually is .. kinda like elephants, really.



.
..
... uhmm ..

My mind might have drifted a bit into la-la-land for a bit there.
Sorry for the excessive tangent. :D
XRzer04 14th Jan 2015, 9:45 AM edit delete reply

In a panic, people used to relying on force just kind of default to applying as much force as they can. The kind of soldiers who would hold fire and wait for backup, in general follow procedures and do things right, would not have been harassing a lone unarmed civilian, "enemy" or not.
Stormwind13 14th Jan 2015, 4:49 PM edit delete reply

Good point, XRzer04. I don't think these guys are out here because they are ELITE or anything. Probably one of the reasons they pull this duty is because they aren't great soldiers, but great bullies. Or they pissed off an officer (looking at you Mr. Zero-Threat). :-D
anamiac 14th Jan 2015, 9:49 AM edit delete reply

Aww, I certainly didn't expect jerkterd to live, but I was hoping that mister 'Zero threat' might, even if he initally reacted badly to being surprised by Connie's presence. Have any of the soldiers tried shooting it in the gaping mouth?

How good are those plasma rifles in comparison to an Elephant gun using tech 400 years older? Are they designed specifically to not penetrate or something (a useful feature if you're in a spaceship and don't want to vent yourself)
kraznor 14th Jan 2015, 10:26 AM edit delete reply
Shooting it in that big gaping mouth you must stand in front of that big hungry, angry murder turd and it eats what's in front of it :)
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:50 AM edit delete reply

as for shooting it in the mouth - the blast of sound and air is literally like being hit with a pile driver ...
Dragonrider 14th Jan 2015, 10:46 AM edit delete reply

I suggested a .416 Weatherby Magnum (the successor to the famed .303 Weatherby Express Elephant Gun) using Depleted Uranium slugs and was told the beastie would just absorb the slugs into its hide.
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:49 AM edit delete reply

Mister Zero threat has gotten lost in the mix .. he might survive ..
XMinusOne 14th Jan 2015, 12:25 PM edit delete reply
That must have been one hellaciously big Havahart trap to capture that beast. Baited with a whole ox, no doubt. The trapper must have been either one tough dude or someone with a death wish.
DLKmusic 14th Jan 2015, 1:22 PM edit delete reply

My guess would be "Pit Trap" and tranquilizers.... a LOT of tranquilizers
Hornet 14th Jan 2015, 1:53 PM edit delete reply
How would you get the drug into it? It's hide given earlier comments is a bio-metallic mesh. I don't think the typical needle injector or spear gun is going to work. However looking at what I just wrote, electricity should play holy hell with it's nervous system.
Hornet 14th Jan 2015, 1:56 PM edit delete reply
Unless said mesh in effect creates a Faraday cage.... :PPP
Tokyo Rose 14th Jan 2015, 4:32 PM edit delete reply

It's possible to tranquilize one. It is not EASY to tranquilize one.

Also, I'm laughing my ass off at the mention of a Havahart trap, and picturing the latest reality show: "Murder Turd Exterminators"
Stormwind13 14th Jan 2015, 4:57 PM edit delete reply

Um, what size would that Havahart Trap have to be?!? I mean, something big enough to park a bus in... And strong enough to hold it in.

And what size is the tranquilizer would you need? A dump-truck load of pills or a short tanker full of some liquid relaxer? I mean, geez... It would have to be POTENT to have any effect on that monster.
Sheela 14th Jan 2015, 7:01 PM edit delete reply

Getting the stuff INTO the murderturd is rediculously easy, just stuff them inside a grilled oxen, and air-drop the carcass in front of a murderturd, then wait for the murderturd to consume the carcass and let the tranquilizers do their work.

Making sure there is anough tranqs to keep it sedated long enough to load it inna container *without* straight up killing it .. that might take a bit of experimentation.

I'm guessing a few murderturds died during the ecperimentation fase, but I'm also sure not many were crying over those few losses.

Maybe Ada would, but she's a friggin bleedin'heart anyways.
CptKerion 14th Jan 2015, 7:12 PM edit delete reply
It likely has softer points around joints the a more precise weapon could hit, load enough tranqs into said precision tranq rocket launcher and you should knock it out. After that just keep it on a drip until you forklift it into the box.
Draginbeard 14th Jan 2015, 10:20 PM edit delete reply

They might have gotten it as a hatchling and trained it.
Sheela 15th Jan 2015, 8:41 PM edit delete reply

I think it's voracious appetite would work against it when it comes to tranquillizing it ... as I said, just load up something yummy with a load of sedatives and wait for it to eat it.

Easy!
Timotheus 14th Jan 2015, 5:47 PM edit delete reply

Imagine a stoned scythe lizard.
"Grrr...ooonkk?"
And I believe Teedee has in her possession (if not on her person) the appropriate firearm for dealing with the little critter.
Skweeee 14th Jan 2015, 6:16 PM edit delete reply

You know, I don't think that thing is a permissible item for declaring through customs...
Stormwind13 14th Jan 2015, 7:26 PM edit delete reply

And this bothers Mr. Black how, Skweee? :-D
Skweeee 14th Jan 2015, 7:44 PM edit delete reply

D:
Centcomm 15th Jan 2015, 8:44 PM edit delete reply

unless you have a dangerous animal waver .. like he was trying to show asshole :D
CptKerion 14th Jan 2015, 7:07 PM edit delete reply
Name a single thing that doesn't enrage a murderturd and I will give you digital cookies.
Stormwind13 14th Jan 2015, 7:31 PM edit delete reply

How about THIS, CptK? :-D
Centcomm 14th Jan 2015, 11:55 PM edit delete reply

its tricky .. althouh ponies are pretty cute :D
CptKerion 15th Jan 2015, 2:38 PM edit delete reply
opens with a flashing light, moving colors and objects, no doubt it will thoroughly enrage it.
I'm pretty sure it made noise and I saw some red in there too.
Tokyo Rose 15th Jan 2015, 5:38 PM edit delete reply

Rocks. If they're not too shiny, or shaped weird, or in the murder-turd's way.
Sheela 15th Jan 2015, 8:42 PM edit delete reply

Feral Roses.

They're scared of those.
CptKerion 16th Jan 2015, 9:13 AM edit delete reply
Well, a digital cookie to Rose and Sheela.
Morituri 15th Jan 2015, 1:46 PM edit delete reply

An apex predator in their area is enraged by the color red, and they issued these clowns red uniforms? What are they, stupid?!

My only question is whether Prince Decimus hates them all personally or whether he feels this way about EVERYBODY.

CptKerion 15th Jan 2015, 2:45 PM edit delete reply
by the fact that they had to import it, I suspect the apex predator is not a local resident.
I also suspect that, due to their size and the generally barren nature of their homes, murderturds are few and far between, probably either having some sort of ancestral mating grounds or one sex being more nomadic in hopes of encountering a receptive member of the opposite sex.

The other possibilities exist including the possibility that a male and a female will set up abutting territories, or even partially overlapping territories so that they may reproduce.
It is also possible that males and female live together, but based on the rest of my knowledge of them, highly, HIGHLY unlikely.
Imagine how much it would suck to have to deal with two murderturds at once.
Stormwind13 15th Jan 2015, 5:30 PM edit delete reply

Two murder-turds that cared for one another, even a little bit making them that much MEANER... GAH. That would be terrifying to behold, CptK.
Tokyo Rose 15th Jan 2015, 5:49 PM edit delete reply

Blood-related females (mother/sisters/daughters usually) stake out overlapping territories, while males wander around in groups. In mating season, the genders will congregate in the females' territories. The females are usually the aggressors, competing with each other to pick out the best mate, while the shyer males hang out nervously around the punch bowl and hope they can pick up a nice mild-tempered girl instead of being noticed by one of the insane amazons.
Sheela 16th Jan 2015, 8:02 AM edit delete reply

Little did the shy males know that the insane amazon murderturds have a raging hardon for dominating weak little males - So they almost always end up being beaten and bullied by the exact same insane amazon murderturds that they tried to avoid to begin with.

Meanwhile, the mild-tempered girls gets eaten instead.
CptKerion 16th Jan 2015, 9:15 AM edit delete reply
you know what I'm going to bet?
That this one is a mild mannered murder turd.
Caley Tibbittz Collopy 15th Mar 2015, 11:52 AM edit delete reply

I love how perfectly that first panel captures everyone's personalities. Just rapid-fire, like they do in Star Trek movies.
niauropsaka 24th Aug 2016, 3:18 PM edit delete reply
Ada and Rose have a lot in common, I see.
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