Comic 1147 - Bad turn...

5th Mar 2015, 9:00 PM
Bad turn...
Average Rating: 5 (22 votes)

Author Notes:

Centcomm 5th Mar 2015, 9:30 PM edit delete
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Aurora 5th Mar 2015, 9:07 PM edit delete reply
Decimus, you...idiot. Words cannot describe the sheer idiocy that you just let loose from your mouth. Not only have you already painted a target on your back with regards to Dolly, Teedee, Maxus, Rose, and Mrs. Taylor, you now have made the worst political blunder you could have ever made and you better pray that Cent doesn't let Calli get her way when they find out. Notice 'when' is used here... Nice knowing you, 'Caesar'. You just knowingly did another 'Et tu, Brute'.
Centcomm 5th Mar 2015, 9:32 PM edit delete reply

One thing to keep in mind .. Decimus may be doing this to "Get Lynns goat" or scare her silly. Or to just tick off Acantha.
Aurora 5th Mar 2015, 10:52 PM edit delete reply
Even if this is a ploy to scare her, the mere mention of enslaving a political hostage can and will instigate a war that in this case, Deci cannot hope to win. Thus, a political blunder that may end up with him being assassinated due to said threat.
xpacetrue 6th Mar 2015, 12:01 AM edit delete reply

Cent makes an excellent point. Acantha has little control over things, but what she can do - how she dresses and being intentionally late - she does to upset Dec and make it clear that she opposes him. Dec has all this power, yet he NEEDS Acantha to support him. Slapping her around and such will not do this. So he has to find creative ways to remind Acantha that opposing him has consequences. Dec is a fool and insane, but he's NOT dumb.

Being made Acantha's servant/slave would be humiliating for Lynn. Even if it is the Royal Princess and her friend, that's harsh, even a bit crushing. However, that's a far better fate than what was going through Calli's mind. A little humiliation is one thing. Being beaten or nearly raped, like Acantha, is something else. It could be far worse. Just saying.
velvetsanity 6th Mar 2015, 3:46 AM edit delete reply

Here's the thing, xpacetrue. We've already seen how he treats slaves. If he were to follow through on what he just said, all it would take is a single time of running into each other in a corridor, at which point dumbass would drag Lynn to his quarters and use her as his replacement for Julia (i.e., his punching bag), particularly to, in his mind, 'pay that Nova Ilium bitch back for daring to defy me'. (Meaning, hurt Lynn because Calli said no to him)
Sheela 6th Mar 2015, 10:52 AM edit delete reply

Once her grandparents realize that she's been turned into a slave in Nova Roma, their diplomatic relations will drop to zero in record time.

Ofcourse, it could have been worse ... he could have send her to the gladitorial pits!
Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 10:53 AM edit delete reply

At Sheela .. Actually the drawback to that is she really wouldn't last that long.. And then she would be dead.
Sheela 6th Mar 2015, 11:01 AM edit delete reply

Well, that depends on who, or what, you let her fight.

If you gave her a sword and send her in to fight puppies 'n' kittens, she would probably win.
... but ... well, she wouldn't enjoy it at all!

Edit :
Lynn vs. Fluffy Kitten - THe SHOWDOWN !! XD
Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 10:45 AM edit delete reply

I think you are very close Xspace

also At velvet .. but deck also knows the second he lays a finger on Lynn max might just pop his head like a zit.
Guest 6th Mar 2015, 11:32 AM edit delete reply
if such things were to happen, and they are brought to light (if/when) we get ms Taylor back to New Troy... I will happily go back for round 2... Ill bring the entertainment...
Marcus Ramesy 6th Mar 2015, 11:33 AM edit delete reply

new computer.. forgot to log in.. *points to above comment*
Sheela 7th Mar 2015, 6:11 AM edit delete reply

You will fight the fluffy Kitten ?
Skweeee 5th Mar 2015, 9:08 PM edit delete reply

Wuuuuuuuuuut???! Doesn't like wine? She's broken. (figuratively speaking)
Centcomm 5th Mar 2015, 9:32 PM edit delete reply

Actually the few times ive tried it it was always like metallic tasting .. :P
Skweeee 5th Mar 2015, 9:51 PM edit delete reply

I wont drink wine by itself. For me it only goes with good food. (and friends)
xpacetrue 5th Mar 2015, 11:34 PM edit delete reply

I was also surprised about disliking wine. However, I am not surprised when someone tells me they do not like (American) beer. I can drink it, even find it enjoyable. But I'm not crazy about the taste.

There are many different wines and different kinds with distinct tastes. There are reds, whites, "bubbly" or sparkling wine, sweet vs. "dry", "varietal" as opposed to a "blended", fruit wine, "table wine", vintage, and other descriptions and designations.

Perhaps you haven't found the wine to suit your taste? Myself, I never did like bubbly wines. I prefer sweet reds or fruit wine. But, I know those who strongly prefer the white bubbly over red and/or sweet.

On the other hand, I know that what you eat can affect the taste of other food and drink used to "chase it down." Sour, acidic stuff can make milk and dairy products curdle. And have you tried eating chocolate with orange juice? It makes the juice taste way too sour!

I've never had a wine with a metallic taste. But then, I've not tried a wide variety.

Taste is subjective, though. I never cared for nuts because most of them taste slightly bitter to me. Interestingly, though, while my mom loves nuts, there are other foods I like that she does not because she thinks they taste too bitter. And, yet, I could taste very little, if any, bitterness in them.
Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 10:45 AM edit delete reply

All the ones ive had have been metal tasting .. maybe its just me.
Marcus Ramesy 6th Mar 2015, 11:34 AM edit delete reply

you would like a mascatto (sp) its sweet and tasty..
Highlander55 7th Mar 2015, 3:30 PM edit delete reply
Most wine is bitter to me as well. I prefer a medium sweet Mead.
Sheela 6th Mar 2015, 10:52 AM edit delete reply

If you are not used to drinking alcoholic beverages, they actually don't taste very good.
Skweeee 6th Mar 2015, 3:39 PM edit delete reply

I agree with you about beer. I've tried to like it, but nope. I remember when my oldest son tried beer for the first time on his 18th birthday.. He said it smells bad and tastes like "salty pee".
Kitty 6th Mar 2015, 7:29 PM edit delete reply
What you need, my friend, is orange chocolate. Trust me, there is nothing that rates higher on the planet.

*I could be JUST a little biased ;)
Nystran 6th Mar 2015, 2:32 PM edit delete reply
Actually, few people like red wine or beer the first time they try it. As a youngster, the first thing we could get ourselves to drink was something sweet, like apple cider or coke 'n Bols (gin).
Stormwind13 6th Mar 2015, 3:34 PM edit delete reply

I know a lot of people that call it 'spoiled grapes', Skweeee.
Haegan2005 5th Mar 2015, 9:09 PM edit delete reply

Ohh My. this is ... not what I expected. Though it makes sense from Decs pov.
Centcomm 5th Mar 2015, 9:33 PM edit delete reply

Points at previous responce :D
Haegan2005 5th Mar 2015, 9:34 PM edit delete reply

velvetsanity 5th Mar 2015, 9:15 PM edit delete reply

Good grief. How the fuck did this idiot manage to last longer than five seconds in his position? You do NOT enslave political hostages or force them to work. Not unless the primary and sole purpose of taking them hostage is to deliberately and overtly start a war. A war which he *should* already know very well that he can't win.

At least he seems to have the sense to not permanently mark her...for the moment...
Aurora 5th Mar 2015, 9:17 PM edit delete reply
I know right? In the awards for 'worst political blunderer ever', Decimus takes 1st prize... I'm waiting for the 'Et tu Brute' scene...
Centcomm 5th Mar 2015, 9:34 PM edit delete reply

Decimus hasnt really been shown what hes really good at.. and thats logistics. hes scary good at it as well as combat tactics. People skills.. not so much.
Greenwood Goat 6th Mar 2015, 8:18 AM edit delete reply
I also recall that he's extremely handy with firearms, being one of the fastest shots in the city.
Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 10:46 AM edit delete reply

Yes he is.
Sheela 6th Mar 2015, 10:53 AM edit delete reply

Unfortunately, an AI would be even better at logistics, so he's at a distinct disadvantage.
Dragonrider 5th Mar 2015, 9:22 PM edit delete reply

The old saying open mouth insert foot is hereby modified in this case it's open mouth insert ass. Guaranteed to give you diarrhea of the voice box once reality is disconnected from the brain by ingesting large amounts of self inflated grandeur.
velvetsanity 5th Mar 2015, 9:26 PM edit delete reply

'Open mouth insert ass' *on top of* having his head so far up his ass his tonsils are tickling his nose? Yeah, that's about how out of touch with reality he is. Wonder if Setorius is going to ask if he's been taking his medication...the obvious answer is no (unless recreational use is causing the crazy)
Centcomm 5th Mar 2015, 9:35 PM edit delete reply

Deci .. ahh he does tend to mouth off when hes angry.
DLKmusic 5th Mar 2015, 9:28 PM edit delete reply

This is the kind of ploy that would work well provided Nova Roma had the military upper hand. It doesn't, and I can't possibly believe that Decimus believes that it does. Deluded is one thing, Moronic is another!

And even if Decimus WAS deluded enough to think that, the rest of the senate....

Interesting side note about ancient roman law. Ceasar was assasinated outside the front steps of the senate, because once he stepped inside, it would have been illegal.
Haegan2005 5th Mar 2015, 9:32 PM edit delete reply

Well, remember that he is not hitting on all cylinders.

I would also call attention to the secret mission that he has had put together. I can actually see him siccing them on Calli. Or at least trying to. I do not believe that he thinks he can take Cent on frontally, but that does not mean that he can not kill the brain of his enemy. He may actually be going after Cent itself as well. His plan was deliberately laid out to us vaguely(dang the devious duo!) and has many possibilities open to it.
Lukkai 8th Mar 2015, 3:15 PM edit delete reply
You know, there's one thing I wonder. Maybe it was adressed somewhere before, in which case I'd have simply forgotten.

Does he believe that Calli is the one to call the shots in New Troy? Or is he aware of the exact form of government there?
Centcomm 5th Mar 2015, 9:36 PM edit delete reply

Well hes thinking that old rust bucket cant possably be any worse than Aeneas.. and grandfather beat him with less tech.
Sheela 6th Mar 2015, 10:54 AM edit delete reply

Well, to be fair, his grandfather also had direct acces to Aeneas' core.

Decimus definately don't have access to Centcomm's ... anything!
And he probably never will.
MST3KFan 5th Mar 2015, 9:30 PM edit delete reply

Silly Lynn. Wine isn't like grape juice... Well, it is, but it isn't.
Centcomm 5th Mar 2015, 9:36 PM edit delete reply

Thats what Lynn was expecting was grape Juice.. :P
CyberSkull 5th Mar 2015, 11:03 PM edit delete reply

Well, way to walk into an open act of war.
Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 10:46 AM edit delete reply

well its just words at the moment :D
velvetsanity 7th Mar 2015, 2:50 PM edit delete reply

Words are all it takes. Simply mentioning the idea of enslaving Lynn, as he just did...even if as a joke in poor taste, is essentially an invitation to war, that I'm sure Calli would be quick to accept the moment she hears of it. Once Lynn is recovered, it would become a matter of shutting down Roma's military and turn into a long-term military occupation on NT's part. Roma would end up (by necessity) as a host to NT military forces (likely long-term, similar to Germany and Japan with US forces after WW2) and subject to NT rule, this part at a minimum until an interim government is put in place *and* NT deems Acantha to be both a suitable and sane replacement for drekhead as well as of a suitable age to take the reins. Acantha herself would likely come to deeply resent NT and probably even Lynn for her ties to NT. Their friendship would be greatly strained if not destroyed.

The final end result would be a Roma that both respects AND deeply resents NT and would harm long-term relations between the two, even if Lynn and Acantha were to remain friends. It may also create long-term resentment of Roma within NT as a whole.
CyberSkull 7th Mar 2015, 6:52 PM edit delete reply

The only reason that holding Lynn isn't an overt act of war is that there is the fig leaf of the fiction that gutters grabbed her (on their own). And although she is not a full guest under the hospitality of the state, abusing a "rescued" person (especially from the most important New Troy family) will only ratchet up Mama and Centcomm's reaction.

It only takes words to order an orbital K-strike, after all. ;)
Draginbeard 5th Mar 2015, 11:12 PM edit delete reply

Not a big wine fan either.

Quite a political chess game. Im reminded that some moves are meant to be so blindingly obvious, your opponent never sees whats coming next. I suspect that is what the Prince is playing at here.

At the very least this puts Lynn out of the direct line of fire.
Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 10:50 AM edit delete reply

Yep good catch Draginbeard :D
Sheela 6th Mar 2015, 10:56 AM edit delete reply

And she's been enslaved to someone that respects her.
So yeah, vould be a lot worse.

That said, he should just have kept her as a "guest", it's not like they need her working.
cattservant 5th Mar 2015, 11:15 PM edit delete reply

Well he's pulled the chain now.
Things are going to get flushed!
Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 10:50 AM edit delete reply

Ker splooosh!
Sheela 6th Mar 2015, 10:56 AM edit delete reply

Well, hopefully the turd named Decimus gets flushed well and good.
Stormwind13 6th Mar 2015, 10:04 PM edit delete reply

Yes, Douchebag certainly brought them both to HEEL, catt.

And yeah, Sheela. One can hope that Douchebag gets what he deserves.
mjkj 5th Mar 2015, 11:31 PM edit delete reply

So, first enslave her. Second change her master. Third enjoy the forced marriage...

Poor Lynn *hugs her*

...and Acantha looks good there...

Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 10:47 AM edit delete reply

I think Acantha's outfit is very cute :D
Rashala 6th Mar 2015, 12:48 AM edit delete reply

Ohhhh DEci deci deci.....

I can see his epitath *It seemed like a sane idea at the time*

*starts to dig the grave...makig sure its deep, Filled with acid MTs and easily sealed with Dark mattr brcisk so he can never get out*

Caus eDolly is goint to Turn him into a WOMAN if he is lucky
Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 10:49 AM edit delete reply

Um Dolly will just kill him .. shes simple that way.
Kitty 6th Mar 2015, 7:31 PM edit delete reply
You are of course implying that turning him into a woman would actually improve him, right? Not that missing his manly parts equates to being a woman because a woman is just a guy without the tackle?
Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 11:13 PM edit delete reply

I think he would be evil and nasty no matter what his Gender happened to be.
Rashala 7th Mar 2015, 3:06 PM edit delete reply

You realize when I say turn him into a woman I mean REMOVE his male organs.........AS if dolly grab TWist RIP!!!!! He'd not be a woman long I am quite sure the RApid blood loso would kill him
XMinusOne 6th Mar 2015, 12:51 AM edit delete reply
"I don't dlink ... wine."

Ol' Douchebag just hit bottom and he keeps right on digging. If he thinks petty crap like this is going to somehow give him an advantage in negotiations with Calliope he's not only delusional, he's crazier than a shithouse rat.

On the other hand, if he's using this 'capture' as some sort of intimidation tactic he's hit the FAIL button again. All of his merry band of retainers realize he's in the process of putting New Rome in the crosshairs of a nuke strike and something needs to be done. Who's gonna bell the cat?
Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 10:50 AM edit delete reply

Well we shall see what the dastardly Deck has plans for. Im sure Lynn And Acantha wont like it.
Lukkai 8th Mar 2015, 3:18 PM edit delete reply
Still kinda expecting an "Or..." here.
ProfEtheric 6th Mar 2015, 1:17 AM edit delete reply

And with that decree, he (hopefully) indelibly signed his own death warrant. Unless I'm reading him wrong, there's no WAY Maxus is going to stand for that crap.

I am a pacifist, but even I know that some people need killing. Decimus is at the top of that list.
Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 10:47 AM edit delete reply

Hehe then we have succeeded :D
Sheela 6th Mar 2015, 10:58 AM edit delete reply

Actually, I rather think Maxus agrees with having Lynn in his care, rather than in the hands of some mad dog from Decimus' personal guard.

That said, I think he will want to have a word or two with Decimus about political prisoners and how to treat them.
Timotheus 6th Mar 2015, 12:22 PM edit delete reply

Unless, of course, it's Maxus he's setting up for a fall. First, a strike team of Cassians that will follow orders as opposed to Maxus's military troops and who HAVE to protect him as the prince, then set up a situation to provoke the Empire's military chief and chief obstacle to his plans involving his sister and a political prisoner. If Maxus makes the wrong response its treason and/or interfering with affairs of state.
The politics of Empire.
DLKmusic 6th Mar 2015, 6:50 PM edit delete reply

That's actually a very insightful thought, Timotheus. The only problem I have with it is that this is something that Decimus is doing, Not something that Kali is (or would) put him up to.

Of course, I could be wrong, but...
Hornet 6th Mar 2015, 7:27 AM edit delete reply
At least he's not trying to move her into his own personal service department.
Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 10:48 AM edit delete reply

Yeah that just wouldn't fly right now.
Greenwood Goat 6th Mar 2015, 8:11 AM edit delete reply
Lynn: Does that mean... I'd be your slave girl, Acantha? You could put a collar on me, and a leash? And make me- [monologue and related events cut for brevity] -all night long... *sigh* *giggle*

Kali: Doctor, can't you stem the bleeding?!

Setorius: The veins on his temples keep bursting as fast as I can close them. And I can only say that I had neither seen nor heard of a projectile nosebleed of this great a magnitude. It is truly unprecedented. Now, would you keep his imperial majesty's hands out of my way, and keep his head tilted forward so he doesn't drown.

Lynn: ...And of course, we would have to make sure that your dear brother never got to participate, or watch what we got up to!

Acantha: Of course, my pet. *gloating laugh*

Kali: His heart's just arrested! Do something, Doctor! Save your emperor!

Setorius: It would seem that he has also suffered a brain haemorrhage, a major cardiac aneurism and a stroke... not to mention deep shock... and the emergency team still isn't here... I regret to say that we have run out of viable options and operable procedures, Cassian... no... there is nothing more we can do for him. Time of death-


Maxus: ...yes, finally, your clearance checks out. Proceed.

Emergency team leader: Thank you, captain! I pray that the emperor is still alive!

>:=)> Yet another fun installment in The Many Desired Deaths of Decimus Livius! >:=)>
Centcomm 6th Mar 2015, 10:48 AM edit delete reply

Oh man.. this is just too funny .. :D
Sheela 6th Mar 2015, 10:59 AM edit delete reply

Hah, good one.

But for that, Lynn and Acantha would need at least two french maid outfits for it to work. :)
Stormwind13 6th Mar 2015, 10:01 PM edit delete reply

I'm not so sure of that, Sheela. While the French maids outfits would work, I'm thinking some of the slave garb I've seen would work equally as well. And they certainly could get a hold of that!
Dragonrider 6th Mar 2015, 11:18 AM edit delete reply

Yes this is funny however I would prefer a scenario where he goes in for a physical. The robodoc has a crash and reboot while examining him and spends three hours trying to extract an egg from him, then decides other items are malignant growths and removes them without anesthesia.
Sheela 6th Mar 2015, 11:50 AM edit delete reply

Eh, robodoc has a giant tentacle like prope ... you know where it goes. XD
DLKmusic 6th Mar 2015, 6:42 PM edit delete reply

@Greenwood Goat: That is.... just SOOOO wrong!

It's priceless!
Caley Tibbittz Collopy 24th Mar 2015, 2:15 PM edit delete reply

If you don't like wine, you just haven't found the RIGHT wine. I've tasted a few, but only like one. A lot. I got super drunk. And sangria is awesome.

That servant bit, though... he's, like, on a MISSION to rankle.
Steven-Vincent 13th Dec 2015, 6:15 PM edit delete reply

Criminy he's an ass. I sure hope one of these days he actually gets what's coming to him.
Centcomm 13th Dec 2015, 6:23 PM edit delete reply

muhahah .. karma comes to all those who wait ^_^
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