Comic 1176 - Cold Open

5th May 2015, 9:00 PM
Cold Open
Average Rating: 5 (22 votes)
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Fairportfan 5th May 2015, 9:08 PM edit delete reply

Who's that?
Tokyo Rose 5th May 2015, 9:14 PM edit delete reply

Who's which? :D
Sheela 6th May 2015, 12:50 PM edit delete reply

That's Rose sounding waayy too happy.

Be afraid!
Stormwind13 7th May 2015, 7:15 AM edit delete reply

Stop typing, start running puppy!!!
DLKmusic 5th May 2015, 9:11 PM edit delete reply

Awe, Shucks, I was hoping for a completely virtual Kyle.... Rose needs a new throw-rug!
Jarin 6th May 2015, 8:01 AM edit delete reply
Still looks like she's going to be tearing him a virtual new one, so that's something. Someone needs to call him on his idiocy. Maybe he'll learn. ... my hopes are not high, but it's possible.
Centcomm 6th May 2015, 12:18 PM edit delete reply

Sorry we are still stuck with the old one :D
Sheela 6th May 2015, 12:51 PM edit delete reply

But .. we could still kill him, right ?

And then get a new whipping boy ?
Boren 5th May 2015, 9:19 PM edit delete reply
The best part of waking up
is no longer being dead
Tokyo Rose 5th May 2015, 9:56 PM edit delete reply

Automatically heard this to the Folgers' theme. Well done :D
Haegan2005 5th May 2015, 9:26 PM edit delete reply

Hmmm, I do see with my all seeing eye...

A royal ass chewing rose style! I do so enjoy watching OTHER people getting those. probably not so much fun getting one yourself!
Aetrun 6th May 2015, 8:38 AM edit delete reply
Not to give Mistress Rose any ideas, but that ass chewing may be closer to divine than royal.
Centcomm 6th May 2015, 12:19 PM edit delete reply

Im with Aetrun on that
Sheela 6th May 2015, 12:52 PM edit delete reply

I dunno, if Kyle's ass needs chewing, I would use a MurderTurd to do the chewing. :)
megados 13th Jun 2017, 7:11 AM edit delete reply

I'm with @Aetrun, @Centcomm, and @Sheela on this, although an ass chewing by either one is a horse apiece. ;D
Dragonrider 5th May 2015, 9:47 PM edit delete reply

Good shot pattern, center of chest at least two had to hit heart. This had to be back-up plan with Kyle 2.0 good to see TR still has her standby one word vocabulary.
JacobJSebastian 5th May 2015, 10:02 PM edit delete reply

LOL I love the last three words of the page!
mjkj 5th May 2015, 10:12 PM edit delete reply

So, is this a new body? or where is his artificial arm?

Yup, you go, Rose, and tell him...

Timotheus 5th May 2015, 10:43 PM edit delete reply

We'll see what the creators have in mind, but to expand on my theory, if this is a Kyle puppet drone being operated by real Kyle in a sealed chamber with a lot of neurological links attached (possibly still back in his transports cargo space), then it would be reasonable to allow that the puppet's body's nanites and repair functions (along with some external help) could restore itself to some degree of functionality. It may not be able to breath, have a heart beat or pass as living any more, but it could move and interact with its surroundings and let Kyle finish his mission. (A real back up plan if ever there was one.)
Dragonrider 5th May 2015, 11:12 PM edit delete reply

Give this idea 3 stars however still like the clone theory.
HiFranc 5th May 2015, 10:48 PM edit delete reply

How much is Julia aware of what is going on?
Stormwind13 6th May 2015, 12:02 PM edit delete reply

Thinking we might find out, HiFranc. If not, Julia may be maintaining plausible ignorance.
Centcomm 6th May 2015, 12:19 PM edit delete reply

She is aware of what Miriako has told her.. and that is controlled in case of issues.
Sheela 6th May 2015, 12:54 PM edit delete reply

The less she knows, the less she can tell if she gets caught.
XRzer04 5th May 2015, 11:05 PM edit delete reply
I still wonder if TR read the humans in play well enough to engineer Kyle's death just to piss off Acantha enough that she'd take decisive action. like an AI named Wintermute told a hacker named Case after killing his girlfriend: "you gotta hate somebody before this is all over"... Might as well be Decimus.
velvetsanity 5th May 2015, 11:46 PM edit delete reply


(Don't ask me why, but I always somehow confuse Wintermute and Winternight...)
Lukkai 6th May 2015, 6:12 PM edit delete reply

Well both are from a cyberpunk source. (Though I heard people denying that status to Shadowrun for the inclusion of magic in it.)
anonymous coward 6th May 2015, 1:33 AM edit delete reply
It might explain why he had a job in the palace for cover when he was supposed to be moving in the direction of Aeneas to repair him. That said, that's awfully twisted, to convince Kyle to commit suicide just so as to upset Nova Roma politics. Worse, it spirals the political and security situation involved out to new depths of unpredictability: You'd think she'd want an environment as predictable as possible to operate in since by definition she cannot hold all the cards in this situation.
Stormwind13 6th May 2015, 7:21 AM edit delete reply

Agreed anonymous, Rose should want as predictable an environment as she can get. Don't see her wanting to put Acantha in the firing line though. Was planning on extracting her after all. She is too important to risk in a confrontation with Douchimus right now.

As for Kyle, he needed to be near Acantha so he could convince her to smuggle him into Aeneas' center to do the repairs. Tokyo Rose had no physical access to Aeneas otherwise. So he needed a reason to hang around the palace so he could make contact with Acantha to gain that access.
Sheela 6th May 2015, 12:56 PM edit delete reply

Besides, Tokyo Rose said it was not originally a part of the plan to Mirako.
Aurora 6th May 2015, 12:37 AM edit delete reply
Alright Rose, it's your time to shine with your creative profanity, ass-chewing, and brilliance all wrapped up in one beautiful mind.
Aurora 6th May 2015, 12:40 AM edit delete reply
And no I am by no means trying to suck-up to the almighty Rose, because I'm sure that if I tried, I'd be the one waking up in a morgue right now wondering what the hell Rose did with my poor body.
Tokyo Rose 6th May 2015, 4:53 AM edit delete reply

You might not have to wonder. Jumbotron screens and world-wide broadcast ability have such potential! ;D
Stormwind13 6th May 2015, 6:26 AM edit delete reply

All I have to say is, GO ROSE!!! Let Kyle have both barrels! And I hope you loaded rock salt in your verbal barrage! You probably will need it to get through a teenager's 'armor' of arrogant ignorance.

Bets on whether Kyle says something like, "But that isn't how it works in the holovids". There isn't an excuse for his actions, but they weren't totally unexpected (apparently).
Sheela 6th May 2015, 12:58 PM edit delete reply

In one barrel, a lot of lubricant.
In the other barrel, a whole lot of .. penetration!

I don't feel sorry for Kyle. >_<
jamie59 6th May 2015, 1:18 AM edit delete reply

Come on Rose you can do better than just "fucking Idiot". And nice pattern.
xpacetrue 6th May 2015, 4:10 AM edit delete reply

Give her some credit, please. She has all of one small text balloon here. Rose has had plenty of time to line up some nice verbal barrages, which we'll probably get to see her use on the next page.

Besides, I thought it was a fitting opener.
anonymous coward 6th May 2015, 1:23 AM edit delete reply
I am disappointed: This sets a bad precedent for stupidity being survivable in your story. What's next, Decimus survives too? There are other names that at least deserve consideration for the designation too-stupid-to-live as well.
xpacetrue 6th May 2015, 4:33 AM edit delete reply

I'm reminded of the tendency for teens to do stupid stuff and things they might regret. Studies have shown that it's more difficult for them to consider the consequences of their actions. They even have an inclination to think of themselves as more-or-less immortal. Well, Kyle is a teen.

It was stupid and against everything Rose told him. But, still, I think he deserves points for being daring. It was ballsy just to get involved, to plead with Rose to get involved. And even more ballsy to walk into that room, point a gun at their leader, and demand for Lynn's release.

Still, ladies may find such daring to be romantic. And what does it say about us fans of rescue stories, shows, and films?

How often have we seen Hollywood films and stories where the hero does incredibly daring / stupid things? And how often does the hero survive the ordeal, against all odds? Quite often. Is that realistic? No.

Is what Kyle did (very daring stuff and still survives a brush with death) all that different from the heroes in, say, the Prince's Bride or stories such as Tarzan or Zorro?

While it may be a fine line between daring do (bravado to rescue someone) foolishness and just plain stupidity, I think there is a distinction. If anyone in this story deserves the "too-stupid-to-live" title, that would be Decimus. He clearly deserves a Darwin Award.
Stormwind13 6th May 2015, 5:15 AM edit delete reply

Very good points, xpace. Kyle tried to act like someone from a holovid and found out the difference between real life and what you see on the info-web.

I'm curious how they pulled this trick off. I'm thinking a secondary pump (what is the heart after all) installed while Kyle was out. Then the nanites sealed the damage and started the pump up. Then they had to save him from the shock, but with a good doctor and the right drugs that wouldn't be hard. Just needs to be done in a timely fashion.

If that is what Rose did to him then she used Douchimus' training against him to keep Kyle alive. Just like the Man With No Name in A Fistful Of Dollars. Figuring Douchimus would, "aim for the heart." :-D

So as long as he's got power, he'll be fine. They can grow him a new heart later.
DLKmusic 6th May 2015, 12:46 PM edit delete reply

@Stormwind13. I think your guess here is probably the most plausible one so far, although I am curious how the nanites in his blood system were able to prevent brain death for an extended period without being able to draw any power, or to be able to activate a secondary pump.

I guess that goes back to the premise of "technology 1600 years more advanced than ours".

Stormwind13 6th May 2015, 1:29 PM edit delete reply

6 to 10 minutes before brain death occurs, DLK. And the nanites may have an internal power source. It wouldn't need to last too long to turn on the pump when the heart shutdown. If their signal was electrical it could send the signal through the blood, even if wasn't flowing.
HiFranc 6th May 2015, 12:10 PM edit delete reply

At first my reaction was like yours. But the more I think about it the more I think this is the right way to go. The reason being is that it emphasizes that killing/attempting to kill Decimus is not the right way to go. Whatever happens they have to proceed as if he has used similar technology. That forces those moving against him to be inventive.
Centcomm 6th May 2015, 1:26 PM edit delete reply

There is a time and a place to actually kill off Characters.. Im not RR martin i don't kill characters arbitrarily or with out a good reason. I honestly think a lot of my readers would be very disappointed if I just randomly started killing people - Trust me I wanted to kill Kyle off .. but the story says no. he has a part to play yet in this drama ..
mjkj 6th May 2015, 11:12 PM edit delete reply

The story does not say "no" but "not yet", CentComm...
Cperka 7th May 2015, 2:47 AM edit delete reply

Actually R.R. Martin has very good reasons for death of main characters. Ned was naive enough to trust Littlefinger and believe that there is still justice served in King's court, and made bad calls. Robb betrayed deal with man who holds grudges the longest in Seven Kingdoms. That's the most "outrageous" ones, but still caused by their own foolishness. Also keep in mind, that people simply died left and right in medieval times, and I believe we have a case of similar period in his universe.
anonymous coward 7th May 2015, 2:56 AM edit delete reply
There's nothing arbitrary about not surviving an attempt at mugging a head of state in their ballroom with no backup; the only thing about this situation that might be arbitrary is presuming that nanotech can be tasked with keeping people alive like this. I mean really, we have nanotechnology in the world right now and have had it for millions of years: It's called bacteria and it's really hard to control.
Lukkai 7th May 2015, 5:23 PM edit delete reply

Not quite the same, really.

But I think the main problem with your line of argumentation is that you seem to try to apply our current level in medicine and technology to a world to which those would look like bloodletting as a means to treat everything is looking to us now.
JustNoPoint 6th May 2015, 6:14 AM edit delete reply

Can you like, find someone who's job it IS to explain???
Hornet 6th May 2015, 6:56 AM edit delete reply
Given that, that is Rose in the red bordered speech bubble. Someone is going to do a lot of explaining and he's going to listen whether he wants to or not.
Stormwind13 6th May 2015, 10:12 AM edit delete reply

Rose's explanation should be something like, "I spliced cat DNA into you while you were out. Figured the nine lives might be needed. Didn't figure some dip$hit teenager would use up 4 of them with some macho bull$hit!!!"

Last thing Kyle needs is how he is alive, or he might try something ELSE stupid! If he doesn't know, maybe he'll be more circumspect.
Centcomm 6th May 2015, 1:27 PM edit delete reply

oh the explanation is forthcoming .. and it will make more sense than a transformers movie .. Hopefully :D
Lukkai 6th May 2015, 6:16 PM edit delete reply

That's not exactly a high bar you set considering the last three.
KarToon12 6th May 2015, 7:35 AM edit delete reply

If bullets don't kill him, Rose will. XD
Stormwind13 6th May 2015, 8:10 AM edit delete reply

No, no KarToon killing him is too EASY! Just going to make him wish he was dead! Oh how much he'll wish that before Rose is through with him!
Hornet 6th May 2015, 5:56 PM edit delete reply
I'm sure Rose has a kill switch built into that nanite swarm coursing through his veins in place of blood
Centcomm 6th May 2015, 1:24 PM edit delete reply

She might make him WISH he was dead :D
Lukkai 6th May 2015, 6:17 PM edit delete reply

"To the pain!"
Shoddi 6th May 2015, 8:08 AM edit delete reply
** 1UP **
Stormwind13 6th May 2015, 9:12 AM edit delete reply

**1 Down** Shoddi.

Turns out Kyle was only "MOSTLY dead." :-D
Sheela 6th May 2015, 1:40 PM edit delete reply

Didn't understand the 1 UP reference.
So I googled 1 UP.

... there's .. there's porn of it !
Tokyo Rose 6th May 2015, 3:25 PM edit delete reply


I'm sorry, is this your first time on the Internet? ;)
Lukkai 6th May 2015, 6:18 PM edit delete reply

What I thought as well. :D

Well, fellow students. Please help Sheela out here and recite with me:

"Rule 34 of the internet: If it exists,..."
Sheela 7th May 2015, 8:29 AM edit delete reply

Certainly not the first time, no.

But it still manages to surprise me from time to time. :)
Shoddi 7th May 2015, 1:04 PM edit delete reply
I was thinking of a Super Mario mushroom, so... wait. There's what?

Sheela 7th May 2015, 3:01 PM edit delete reply


Did you end up on Hentai Foundry too ?
Lukkai 7th May 2015, 5:27 PM edit delete reply

I'm sooooo tempted to find and post some nsfw links now. :D
ProfEtheric 6th May 2015, 8:25 AM edit delete reply

Yeah, he's got Rose upset at him. I'm half surprised she didn't somehow dump his mind into a toaster or something.
Tokyo Rose 6th May 2015, 11:33 AM edit delete reply

Are you kidding? A toaster has one job: make toast for you. Kyle the Toaster would quite possibly, oh, I dunno, MISFILE YOUR TAXES AND TAKE NAKED PICTURES OF YOUR WIFE INSTEAD. ARGH.
ProfEtheric 6th May 2015, 11:38 AM edit delete reply

Yes, but how much fun would the Adventures of Kyle the Toaster be? :)
xpacetrue 6th May 2015, 11:44 AM edit delete reply

I dunno. Somehow, I suspect Rose could make even a story like that interesting enough.
Sheela 6th May 2015, 1:38 PM edit delete reply

Eh, Kyle the Toaster would just blacken the tax-papers and fail to make any good pictures of your wife.

And then it would die.
gmg2dave 6th May 2015, 8:25 AM edit delete reply

Oh my, Rose is a bit miffed.
there's a thin line between bravery and stupidity Kyle, and you leapt over it.
Centcomm 6th May 2015, 1:28 PM edit delete reply

lept over.. stomped on and then back up over the pieces with a truck.
Cal 6th May 2015, 9:39 AM edit delete reply
Damn, ol' Deck's got good shot placement there. Three in the X-ring.
Centcomm 6th May 2015, 1:28 PM edit delete reply

well he IS a marksman :D
cattservant 6th May 2015, 10:25 AM edit delete reply

Melody_Whyte 6th May 2015, 11:54 AM edit delete reply

Damn. I was kinda hoping he'd stay dead. Is it obvious I'm not a huge fan of his?

Maybe that's just my secret wishes for Acantha and Lynn to become a thing... Lol
Stormwind13 6th May 2015, 12:10 PM edit delete reply

They are a thing, Melody. It's called, family. Sisters in fact. Not quite the thing you were hoping for, but I fear that is as far as it will go.
Centcomm 6th May 2015, 1:30 PM edit delete reply

hehe Im not a huge fan of him eather .. but also remember both Lynn and Acantha are both into boys .. not girls .. fantasy's aside :D
anonymous coward 7th May 2015, 5:21 PM edit delete reply
Ahem, welcome to the internet. The phenomenon on display here is known as, "Shipping." Wikipedia can explain it, and the connection with slash-fiction, apparently:
Rashala 6th May 2015, 12:54 PM edit delete reply

and you allwonder WHY I try to stay onf rose's Good side?
Centcomm 6th May 2015, 1:30 PM edit delete reply

because its healthy?
Stormwind13 6th May 2015, 8:31 PM edit delete reply

He may be RASH, but he isn't COMPLETELY suicidal. :-D
Sheela 7th May 2015, 3:02 PM edit delete reply

Well ... actually ...

I mean, considering the outcome of what he just did. >_<
DLKmusic 7th May 2015, 7:36 PM edit delete reply

wait.... Rose has a good side? :-)
Sheela 9th May 2015, 12:43 AM edit delete reply

She has a sneaky side. :)
Timotheus 6th May 2015, 2:19 PM edit delete reply

I just just felt the use of plug seals on his chest wounds was a good indication that this was not a living human body but rather a real good simulation of one where blood and internal organs were there more for show than need.
He's now on emergency back up power so no fast moves or showy gymnastics.
Lukkai 6th May 2015, 6:31 PM edit delete reply

Gotta wonder what was up with Miraiko's eyes last comic though. I don't think it was a coincidence or mirage that they were red.
Tokyo Rose 9th May 2015, 6:48 PM edit delete reply

It wasn't Miraiko. She's on Kyle's left, not his right.
Lukkai 9th May 2015, 7:28 PM edit delete reply

More clear thanks to the next comic now. Both wearing the same dress threw me off a little here.
Tokyo Rose 10th May 2015, 2:29 AM edit delete reply

highlander55 6th May 2015, 7:33 PM edit delete reply

Kyle appears to be a gynoid. No bulge in the crotch. Either that or someone forgot to draw it on. He looks like a "Girly Mon"
Cperka 7th May 2015, 2:51 AM edit delete reply

That would be ULTIMATE PENALTY! Maybe as a woman he'll no longer be doing extremely dumb things? :D
Tokyo Rose 7th May 2015, 6:56 AM edit delete reply

Limitation of the figures there. Most male figures load in without genitals (they're a separate figure that can be added as needed), and most clothing doesn't emphasize the male crotch bulge very much. If you're not doing nude shots, it's just plain easier to leave a guy as a Ken doll instead of having to deal with the additional memory load of a genital figure, not to mention having to prevent it from clipping out through clothes that aren't designed to accommodate it.
Sheela 7th May 2015, 8:31 AM edit delete reply

Mweh he he he ... Rose plays with Ken dolls that are "smooth around the bend" ? >_<

The internet would be shocked, SHOCKED I say!!
Possibly by the powerplant that Tokyo Rose owns, but that's another matter. :)
Lukkai 7th May 2015, 5:31 PM edit delete reply

Hey, we could explain it away as "The spectacular failure of his macho approach has made his thingies momentarily shrink!" ;)
Sheela 9th May 2015, 12:43 AM edit delete reply

More lke "Castrated by Rose" !
Greenwood Goat 7th May 2015, 6:11 AM edit delete reply
Sometimes you can't just leave someone there to die... sometimes, as a matter of principle, you have to bring them back so YOU CAN TELL THEM EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK OF THEM!

Which brings me to another perfect end to Prince DecHead... namely ending up as Prince Brain-In-A-Jar, and being forced to watch an endless looping video feed of everyone who has ever had to deal with him giving their unbiased and uncensored opinion of him. >:=D>

Stormwind13 7th May 2015, 8:06 AM edit delete reply

Not perfect to me, Goat. Leaves Douchimus 'alive' and able to come back. There are enough whack jobs that I don't want him that CLOSE to getting loose to terrorize even more people!

If you terminated him IMMEDIATELY after he was taunted, it might work. Really want him GONE!
CptKerion 7th May 2015, 9:35 AM edit delete reply
Me? I say drop him into a pit with a murderturd that hasn't eaten in a week.

Nothing is getting his remains back then.
Stormwind13 7th May 2015, 10:02 AM edit delete reply

The only thing that bothers me about that scenario Cpt is the fact the murderturd might not eat him. It probably has standards that Douchimus doesn't meet!
Marcus Ramesy 7th May 2015, 11:38 AM edit delete reply

Murderturd: Im sorry.. I dont eat junkfood.
anonymous coward 7th May 2015, 5:24 PM edit delete reply
Am I the only person here who doesn't want Decimus to die outside of through the direct consequences of his own stupidity? Really not a fan of the death penalty.
Stormwind13 7th May 2015, 5:47 PM edit delete reply

At a guess anonymous, yes you probably ARE the only one that doesn't want fatal things to happen to Douchimus, under any circumstance that can be arranged.
CptKerion 7th May 2015, 7:34 PM edit delete reply
Even murder turds will settle for Vienna sausage equivalent when hungry enough.
Rms2000 19th May 2015, 9:52 AM edit delete reply
This is the part where I say "I told you so".
antrik 13th Oct 2016, 2:19 AM edit delete reply
Screams from the morgue... Now that would be an interesting plot twist ;-)
WitUnderPressure 1st Dec 2017, 1:32 AM edit delete reply

First thought upon waking up:

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