Comic 1199 - I The Magician ( Upright )

25th Jun 2015, 9:00 PM
I The Magician ( Upright )
Average Rating: 5 (19 votes)
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Haegan2005 25th Jun 2015, 9:06 PM edit delete reply

omg, the corny stuff has started!

(gets soda and popcorn)
Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 1:13 PM edit delete reply

Not a bad idea .. :D
DLKmusic 25th Jun 2015, 9:23 PM edit delete reply

OK, Sheela! You called it, props to you!!!!

*Opens 5 cans of albacore tuna and put's them in Sheela's bowl*
Mark_L_A 25th Jun 2015, 9:56 PM edit delete reply

Do you think Sheela like Mackerel? I've got a couple cans of that I can kick in.
Sheela 26th Jun 2015, 12:41 AM edit delete reply

Gleeee ... tuna *and* mackarel! :D

And Irene have definately noticed something is odd about Malati's behavior.
Maxus, not so much, ah well, Irene will just have to shield Malati from Maxus.
T1-G3R2501 26th Jun 2015, 5:32 AM edit delete reply
I never thought I could see a comic drip in sarcasim....
Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 1:32 PM edit delete reply

Congrats Sheela ! - but can you figure out what happens next?
StellarJay 13th Jul 2015, 12:33 AM edit delete reply

Sheela wrote:
"Gleeee ... tuna *and* mackarel!"

You can have both if you want, or you could forgo the tuna this time and go wholly mackerel!
chk 26th Jun 2015, 9:02 AM edit delete reply

Yep. Good call.
chk 26th Jun 2015, 2:38 PM edit delete reply

next: Cut to tram and check on Lynn and Acantha.
Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 6:12 PM edit delete reply

Nope.. not yet.
Sheela 27th Jun 2015, 10:13 AM edit delete reply

Maxus : "Quickly Irene, get behind me, I'll protect you."
Malati : "Come Hrist, *picks up Hrist* let us awaaay!"
Maxus : "If you think I'm just gonna let you ... uhh ... walk out of here ?"
Hrist : "Where are we going?"
Malati : "Well, damaged as we are, we should recover - I was thinking the gladiatorial baths."
Irene : "Uhm, don't attack her Maxus."
Maxus : ".. but .."
Irene : "Please ?"
Maxus : "What the HELL is going on here ?"
xpacetrue 25th Jun 2015, 9:28 PM edit delete reply

I guess Malati really, really didn't want to have to fight him.

Is Malati's programming restrictions special in some way? Or are all the Cassians able to bend the rules this much?
DLKmusic 25th Jun 2015, 9:43 PM edit delete reply

Noctis pointed out the "avoid serious personal harm" clause in her orders as a means of a loophole she could work with.

and the diabolical duo here have gone to great pains to show us that Malati does have a keen sense of duty that has been stretched to the breaking point by Decimus.

This order was bad enough that she was willing to fight Kali over it, which not only goes against her programming, but is crime that would get her de-commissioned.

The thing about an AI, and we've only really seen it in full bloom with Dolly and Malati, is that in order for it to be true sentience, it has to have the ability to learn from it's mistakes, grow, and mature on it's own. In computerese, it is constantly writing new code for itself and debugging earlier code.

Unfortunately for Malati, she could do with a debugging session from someone like Doc Silver, but in the meantime, this has GOT to feel good for her to be able to disregard this particular order!
Sheela 26th Jun 2015, 12:46 AM edit delete reply

She is not disregarding her programming, merely bending it a bit.

If an AI is not allowed selfpreservation, it could end up breaking it's core programming, so part of the core programming will have to allow for it, or you could suddenly stand with a rogue cassian on the loose. Kinda like what happened with Amy over in Luna Star, where she broke her directives because of compassion and empathy. But in the case of a cassian, it would be survival over directives/orders.

Not something any person in power would like to have.
Better to have a bungled mission, than a rogue cassian.
DLKmusic 26th Jun 2015, 2:26 AM edit delete reply

Those are good points, Sheela, and "Disregard" was probably a poor choice of words on my part. My big concern about Malati at this point though, is as she seems to be the "weapon of choice" against people that the prince doesn't like cause they have sweaty palms, or because they refuse to sell a particular Vinyard they own to the crown, She is already "damaged goods", as it were. evidenced by her willing to fight Kali over this one.

It's 2:30 in the morning, and I have to be up as 6:00, and I can't sleep because of this particular installment. I don't know whether to congratulate Cent and Rose for that, or Yell at them!
Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 1:31 PM edit delete reply

Malati gets a lot of "Terrorist removal" jobs the one who gets most of the really horrible ones is Nox. who you aren't familiar with yet.

Technically Hrist should have been sent after Acantha and Lynn .. And Nox would not have held back like Hrist did.

and yes Malati was ready to throw down right then and there with Kali ..
Melody_Whyte 26th Jun 2015, 5:58 PM edit delete reply

It would get her de-commissioned if Kali wasn't also against Douchimus*

Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 6:11 PM edit delete reply

Oh Kali would still have taken her offline if Noctis hadn't taken control of the situation. Kali can not STAND disobedience. Or snark.
Sheela 27th Jun 2015, 10:16 AM edit delete reply

Well ... maybe a little snark.
Especially if it's snark directed at Decimus.
Then she might even encourage it!
Meanwhile, ALL of Decimus' heartbeats are being counted and tallied up ... there's a very definite deadline coming up. :)
xpacetrue 25th Jun 2015, 9:36 PM edit delete reply

Recently, I did an archive dive over at Luna Star. And I had a thought:

In Luna Star, Galina had severe spinal cord damage, which they were able to repair. After a bit of therapy after surgery, she was back on her feet as good as new.

Keep in mind: Luna Star took place several hundred years earlier. (Over 800?) And Nova Roma is quite backwards technologically, especially in terms of surgery (as evidenced by the faulty autodoc that hurt Lynn). Does the technology exist at this point in the story - somewhere - to fix Irene's spinal injury? If not, why?
Mark_L_A 25th Jun 2015, 9:41 PM edit delete reply

xpace - The problem with Gali was she is/was a clone/android. He android parts were very delicately put into a Human Clone. ETA ETA-

xpace I misread your comment, I thought you were referring to Hrist's spine. It was explained in an earlier post that not even Luna Medical Technology could repair Irene's spine.

Hrist is a Pure Android. She can actually be repaired quite easily compared to what ahppened to Gali.

And Cent, Just how perceptive am I now? ;)

ETA - And was that a WINK?
DLKmusic 25th Jun 2015, 9:47 PM edit delete reply

He was asking about Irene, not Hrist. and that's a really good question. Nova Roma may be backwards as far as Tech goes, but they are actually probably more advanced than New Troy when it comes to Biosciences.
Mark_L_A 25th Jun 2015, 9:51 PM edit delete reply

Caught that after I re-read xpace's comment a few more times. When I'm tired and in pain I make comprehension errors.

When I"m really tired or in pain or both like now, my dyslexia kicks in really bad.
DLKmusic 25th Jun 2015, 10:18 PM edit delete reply

Understood... :)

Sometimes I've been known to say something that makes me sound like a complete idiot (we won't mention who the authors of "Good Omens" were again), and the only excuse I have is that I am so smart I sometimes do a full circle back to stupid!
Centcomm 25th Jun 2015, 10:33 PM edit delete reply

gonna do a catch all here. Galina's "biology and Injury" was mechanical failure of parts and those parts were replaceable ( once they got ahold of scans/ blueprints )

Irene.. is a different matter There is also the Nova Roma Ideal of " Human first and culling the weak. " and thats one of the main tenets of the Church of genetic purity is to weed out weakness.. remember when Irene felt ashamed of her injury and that she couldn't just "walk it off" Sure the Epiphytes might be able to fix her - but THEY ARENT HUMAN - the nano frame is a acceptable "crutch" that allows Irene to perform almost everything she did before. The Tech in Luna is New Troy and Higher .. and Roma sits between Luna Star tech( OLD ) and New Troy. ( current ) now the issue is that Irene has lived with the issue for so long that it would be a major issue to repair it completely .. again the Lunas and the Epips "could do it" but wont even suggest it because they know Roma's "Customs" Roma has learned not to trust above a certain level of High tech. and its another reason they hate / envy New troy .
xpacetrue 26th Jun 2015, 2:18 AM edit delete reply

Ah, that makes sense.

Though, now I'm wondering: If a Luna citizen suffered spinal injuries like Irene's, how would they treat it? I seem to recall the Major (forgot his name) from AmCom (in Luna Star) had a cybernetic spine. Would Luna treat such an injury by replacing the damaged parts with cybernetic implants (assuming they had wealth or good insurance)?
T1-G3R2501 26th Jun 2015, 1:10 PM edit delete reply
Differing from Cent's notes above I'd probably say not. If any enhancements would be made it might only go to the military. Granted they too probably only do the human aspect so that might be a bust. I'm more than positive though that if all goes down well I can see medical advances in NR to get Irene the spine she needs.
Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 1:27 PM edit delete reply

In CURRENT DC .. Cybernetics and Bio implants are very common. esp in Luna. Roma and a few others have a " my body is a temple " and they try to keep themselves pure as possible. in contrast even Lynn has a implant for her ID and a Info net interface .. they are just very well hidden and very 'passive' technology..
Dragonrider 25th Jun 2015, 10:36 PM edit delete reply

Well another county heard from, when will Kali be heard from again, also does she get to go toe to toe with Dolly.
anonymous coward 25th Jun 2015, 11:30 PM edit delete reply
I could imagine Dolly taking her line dancing when Decimus is finally dead and buried and they've built the dancefloor on top of his tomb to accomodate everyone.
Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 1:24 PM edit delete reply

hehe listens to the betting pool :D
The Old Scribe 26th Jun 2015, 12:17 AM edit delete reply

Malati just found a loophole in her assassination orders ... or would that be a puncture hole? Anyway, the threat to Maxus and Irene is mitigated, for the moment anyway.

Is that blood running from Malati's wound or some form of lubrication fluid? I'd imagine the Cardassians have something resembling Kevlar strength articulation joints which wouldn't need lubrication, but some of their innards might.
Tokyo Rose 26th Jun 2015, 12:28 AM edit delete reply

Cassians, not Cardassians. Fuckin' spoonheads. :D

It's the same blood-ish working fluid that's common to androids. Serves the same general purpose, just not made of the same stuff.
anonymous coward 26th Jun 2015, 1:13 AM edit delete reply
Working fluid? So, uh, which of the following does it do: Hydraulic transfer fluid, mass shifting (balance/locomotion support), part transport, chemical resupply, gas transfer medium, and emergency damage mitigation/filler? What else does it do?
Sheela 26th Jun 2015, 1:25 AM edit delete reply

It makes the Cardassians asses really big ? >_<
Thomas 26th Jun 2015, 8:43 AM edit delete reply
Only if they transformed into Kardashians
Lukkai 28th Jun 2015, 7:24 AM edit delete reply

Don't make me break out Sir Mix-a-lot, Sheela!
Stormwind13 26th Jun 2015, 9:26 AM edit delete reply

Wonder if that was a phone spell checker gone bad, Rose. I don't use mine that often, because it does some of the DAMNEDEST things. I have to continually fight with it, it wants to replace Maxus with Macys all the time. =O Somehow I can't equate those two. :-D
The Old Scribe 26th Jun 2015, 9:32 AM edit delete reply

Agh! I can't believe I did that! Cardassians indeed. Damn you AutoCorrect!
anonymous coward 26th Jun 2015, 11:51 AM edit delete reply
That should be easy to fix, open up your autocorrect dictionary and delete Cardassians. Then turn off automatic correction, and live with those squiggly lines under those proper nouns like there should be because they're not properly words in the English language. Autocorrect should never be allowed to correct automatically because then it will 'correct' words into the wrong word. Four inn stance dose many whored en these sen tense trig gore spell cheque? (Okay, the last one maybe but that's because I'm using a perfectly valid Canadian/French spelling that American spelling dictionaries won't accept.)
Lukkai 28th Jun 2015, 7:26 AM edit delete reply

Yeah, the auto-corkboard is definitely borken.

It's one of the first things I turn off when acquiring a device.
Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 9:00 AM edit delete reply

Actually this Question is covered in the "tech pages" on androids. The fluid is also a o2 carrier and cleans and lubricates internal parts losing fluid can be dangerous although Cassians are more compartmentalized more than a human. So they have more or less separate circulatory systems for Brain and critical system. and one that is separate that serves the limbs and voluntary motive systems. this back up within back up is why Hrist isnt dead.
cattservant 26th Jun 2015, 2:45 AM edit delete reply

Now here's a surprise!
Stormwind13 26th Jun 2015, 4:33 AM edit delete reply

I'm with you catt. I did NOT think Malati would react that way for sure. The EVIL duo keeping us guessing.
Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 1:19 PM edit delete reply

GOOD I like surprising the readers :D
Sheela 27th Jun 2015, 10:20 AM edit delete reply

Heck, even I am surprised that they didn't surprise me - That was very surprising!
Centcomm 28th Jun 2015, 8:47 AM edit delete reply

Well thats a good thing.. we need to work harder then :D
Sheela 28th Jun 2015, 7:14 PM edit delete reply

We do ?

B-but ... I don't like hard work! :(
lalverson 26th Jun 2015, 5:04 AM edit delete reply
It is so terrible to sustain such massive damage. Very well played, Very well played..
Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 1:19 PM edit delete reply

heh :D :D I know right?
VanEzzania 26th Jun 2015, 6:04 AM edit delete reply

Irene don't dawdle. Hustle your bustle!
Shoddi 26th Jun 2015, 7:35 AM edit delete reply
Brilliant. Just. Brilliant.
* begins slow clap *
Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 1:18 PM edit delete reply

Thank you ! :D
Thomas 26th Jun 2015, 8:45 AM edit delete reply
I really like the "Dafuck?" expression on Irene's face in the last panel.
Stormwind13 26th Jun 2015, 9:22 AM edit delete reply

I thought the first two panels showed Irene's expressions very well too, Thomas. I mean, it is OBVIOUS from those expressions she expected a great deal of pain, if not outright death, from her actions. But she wasn't about to NOT fight back this time.

Malati's actions have certainly confused Irene. Maxus on the other hand seems unwilling to leave Irene near Malati, in case she is suddenly 'compelled' to complete her mission.
Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 1:18 PM edit delete reply

Yes Irene fully expected Malati to kill her .. she was just hoping it wouldn't be too painful or long and would free Maxus to do whatever he had to - even Irene realized how futile her actions were in her continued survival.
Sheela 28th Jun 2015, 7:15 PM edit delete reply

Well, you could say it did free Maxus.
After all, Irene is no longer in danger. :)
CptKerion 26th Jun 2015, 2:22 PM edit delete reply
Oh Malati, how much I love you!
You clever clever cassian.
She just got promoted to Maxus level favorite
DLKmusic 26th Jun 2015, 4:15 PM edit delete reply


"who's a good lil Psychopathic Killer Android? You are, yes you are!!"
Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 6:10 PM edit delete reply

heh Careful you might just find a Cassian waiting for you .. waiting right behind you .. yes .. don't turn around now. don't blink.. DON'T blink..
DLKmusic 26th Jun 2015, 7:50 PM edit delete reply

Uhm, yeah, cent... no-one's buying your empty thr...... *GACH* *URK* *HRRRRRRNNNNNN*.
velvetsanity 26th Jun 2015, 11:38 PM edit delete reply

Oh, hi, Kali, were you finished with my copy of Lucifer's Halo?

I thought the not blinking thing was for the Weeping Angels :D
CptKerion 27th Jun 2015, 12:00 AM edit delete reply
Man DLK you should really be more careful when you're eating those chicken wings... oh... wait... shit.
Sheela 27th Jun 2015, 10:22 AM edit delete reply

*stands behind CptKerion*

... and then they blame the Cassians!
I am like, *SO* sneaky right now, ke ke ke.
CptKerion 27th Jun 2015, 1:48 PM edit delete reply
*slowly swivels chair to face Sheela* Have you ever considered that the fall of many great villains has been voicing their plans out loud?
However, I shall do you a turn since you did me one. My plan to survive is to race away as fast as humanly possible on my rolly chair!
(Yes, in case you were wondering, I am in a really good mood today and feel like being a total goofball.)
DLKmusic 27th Jun 2015, 2:33 PM edit delete reply
I am the ghost of DLKmusic, and I shall HAUNT you, Sheela... from this point forward, Slippers will chew on YOU!!!!! ooooOOOOOOOOOoooooo
Sheela 28th Jun 2015, 4:03 AM edit delete reply


No haunting, no haunting !
Lukkai 28th Jun 2015, 7:28 AM edit delete reply

Who you gonna call?
Centcomm 28th Jun 2015, 8:47 AM edit delete reply

Guest 28th Jun 2015, 5:32 PM edit delete reply
STEEL TOED VORPAL BUNNY SLIPPERS, Sheela.... with eyes that go WRRRRRRRRR when you pull a string......

DLKMusic 28th Jun 2015, 5:33 PM edit delete reply
Dang, that loses a lot of it's punch when you forget to add your name to it!
Sheela 28th Jun 2015, 7:16 PM edit delete reply


Yeah, it really did.
It was pretty imaginative though. :)
Mark_L_A 26th Jun 2015, 2:43 PM edit delete reply

Has anyone else noticed Malati's "Wink"?
DLKmusic 26th Jun 2015, 4:14 PM edit delete reply

Yes, and it needs some work! lol
chk 26th Jun 2015, 5:03 PM edit delete reply

Yes, I did. Was she winking at Maxus and did he notice?
Centcomm 26th Jun 2015, 6:09 PM edit delete reply

It actually wasnt a "wink" it was a "blink" as in WTF .. did she actually just stab me with a pottery tool?
Kitty 26th Jun 2015, 7:34 PM edit delete reply
I thought the blink was more of a "circuits clicking over" thing. Like when you push the reset button ;)
Mark_L_A 26th Jun 2015, 8:37 PM edit delete reply

NO!!! NO!! IT WAS A WINK!!! :p

Sheela 27th Jun 2015, 10:23 AM edit delete reply

I thought the blink was because she suddenly figured out what Nocits meant.
Sort of an 'Eureka' moment there.
Lukkai 28th Jun 2015, 7:29 AM edit delete reply

Or a thought of "Hey, I can use this!"

Yeah, that's how I read it too.
chk 27th Jun 2015, 11:46 AM edit delete reply

Well, it does say 'blink' doesn't it?
Mark_L_A 27th Jun 2015, 1:12 PM edit delete reply

A simple TYPO, (don't kill me Rose)
Melody_Whyte 26th Jun 2015, 5:59 PM edit delete reply

Aahhhhahahahaha, I knew Malati was a double agent.
Rashala 26th Jun 2015, 10:25 PM edit delete reply

LOL HOW DID SHE KNOW!!!! Her One vital area was in her hand....!!!
Tokyo Rose 27th Jun 2015, 6:59 AM edit delete reply

Malati: "Superficial wounds to the hand! My one weakness! (Aside from hot gladiators with flowing blond hair.)"
anonymous coward 27th Jun 2015, 10:13 AM edit delete reply
Don't lie, she'd throw underwear at Maxus too if he wasn't so very, very married. (Or maybe she still would.)
Sheela 27th Jun 2015, 10:24 AM edit delete reply

Heck, she probably already has thrown her underwear at him several times while he was still a gladiator. :)
mjkj 28th Jun 2015, 2:24 AM edit delete reply

Noooo, serious damage is serious - not able to continue mission...

...halp, halp, oh, noes...

...abort mission, I repeat: abort...

The surprised look of Irene - priceless...

...and Maxus does not trust Malati's statement...

...if only poor Hrist had thought the same: my back is hurt, serious damage, I must discontinue, she would not be in two pieces...
Sheela 28th Jun 2015, 4:05 AM edit delete reply

He he, yeah, Irene is a bit confused, that's for sure.
But I think she's also catching on that something important just happened.

Here's hoping she will stop Maxus from attacking the cassians further, and let them live.
Maybe he could use them as hostages and evidence aghainst Decimus, I bet Malati would love to be evidence against Decimus. :D
Guest 28th Jun 2015, 4:16 AM edit delete reply
<with music>
dum dum dum, dum dum dum, dum dum dum da-dum dum the Cassians go rolling along...

<ducking so as not to be smacked by TR>
Guest 28th Jun 2015, 4:20 AM edit delete reply
wait, wait, came up with the lyrics! -

Run from Max, and Irene, as we flee a losing scene, and the Cassians go rolling along...

<ducking twice>
Sheela 28th Jun 2015, 7:27 PM edit delete reply

.. who ran away ?

Brave Sir Robin ran away,
bravely ran away away!

When danger reared it's ugly head,
he bravely turned his tail and fled.

Yes brave Sir Robin turned about,
and gallantly he chickened out.

Bravely taking to his feet,
he beat a very brave retreat.

Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin!
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