Douchimas, Douchiemas if only you could read thoughts. How can Kali have these traitorous thoughts and survive? Thought her programming would short circuit at those impulses. Or by cgance has she "sparked" somewhere along the line? And how, pray tell, did they get past the door?
Guess paraphrased song lyrics might tell the story here.
"If you could read my mind douchebag
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
About a ghost from a wishing well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
You know that ghost is me
And I will never be set free
As long as you're the douchebag we all see"
I was of the impression that she simply has the same integrated inhibitor as the other Cassians. Think about vivisecting your crazy boss all you want, try to act on it and get fried.
She is also stuck with two conflicting prime directives as I read it: 1) Serve the ruler of the city and 2) protect the Livius family. She has to actively protect the two siblings, except one is a murderous crazy person with their sights on the other.
The problem with Just removing him is the contingencies. That's what Kali means about feeling his last beating heartbeats before oblivion. What we as readers know is there is some active work going on to circumvent those contingencies. Once that happens Deci-baby is going to be crapping a cinder-block sized shit when his whole world comes raining down. Also we already know that the Tram has been locked to the Aneaeas(sp?) end of the tunnel. whomever makes that walk is going to not go quietly into the night..but with loud splashy screaming
So she'd probably have no choice but to stand between the two should push come to shove and he actually try to violate Acantha in any kind of way while in her presence?
Not that she'd hesitate in protecting Acantha from him, I'm sure.
I was under the impression that Kali's requirement to serve the Livius family included serving the head of the family first and foremost. I'm not certain that she would be able to disobey Decimus' order to get out of the way as he killed Acantha (or likely raped and killed, or maybe killed and raped, from what we've seen of him previously).
Somehow, I'd have thought his admission just now would have clarified her prime directive in a way that was quite helpful to her. Just those damned contingencies and a pesky legal technicality of age.
It's been awhile since I've seen Doucheimus' right hand Cassian, Kali and for some reason she looks less spooky than when I first saw her. It must be the hairdo or the outfit or something.She appears to be wound tighter than a watch spring and is only holding back by the thinnest of constraints. I'd like to see her eviscerate ol' Doucheie myself; maybe hang him by his own guts from a hook or something fun like that.
Why doesn't she just pith the F'n SOB!
(Sorry, I am really getting sick of Dec. Ladies - I think you are over-writing him. I haven't wanted the removal of a character so badly since I can't remember when!!!) Pith him and his 'heart' would still be beating, and with life-support, it could continue nearly indefinitely....
She has a blade, the accuracy, speed and definitely the desire.... GO FOR IT DAMN IT!!!!
Don't worry every step takes him closer to Aeneas's complex. At the speed they're going, the repairs should be complete by the time he gets there.
{edit} Rather than being annoyed by Decimus, I'm experiencing gleeful anticipation at him realising what awaits him (especially if the exits are shut off).
Stick to your guns, creators! Give us all the Decimus we deserve! If we didn't deserve him, we should never have voted him into off- ...
Oh. We didn't. Never mind. ^_^
Seriously ... my wife, on first viewing the Fifth Element (Bruce Willis and Milla Jovovich), HATED Michael Tucker's character Ruby Rod. I mean _passionately_ hated him. After I explained to her that that was the point, and that the character serves a comic and necessary purpose, she rewatched the movie and 'got it'. Now she agrees he is an important part of the film.
Decimus rings true as a loathesome waste of life. He is like a solid gold chamberpot. His words are like exquisite examples of Vogon poetry. Without Decimus, we don't get Maxus and Acantha, so you keep on doing what you're doing. ^_^
He's the DJ escorting Corben Dallas around Floston Paradise as part of the Gemini Croquettes sweepstakes grand prize. Green? (It must be green!). The walking, talking double entendre.
...Not long enough. It takes as little as 4 minutes (or so) of oxygen starvation to cause permanent brain injury to an infant (learned during various CPR courses).
No, Kali didn't kill Decimus's mother. If she had, Mommy Dearest wouldn't have been around to spoil the shit out of Decimus and leave him with such a glowing memory of her. :D
Prince Douchebag is really outdoing himself on this page. (Sounds like frustration tends to push him deeper into his madness.) But, as hard as it is to read without stopping to cringe at every panel, it is interesting to get this family history. So, his mother tried to smother him in his cradle?
Anyway, when talking about his mother, he asks Kali if she remembers, "How graceful and elegant and noble she was?" Yet... Earlier he called Acantha's mother a "lowly dancing girl," when she was actually the prima ballerina of a prominent dance troupe. And in terms of 'grace and elegance', isn't that rather difficult to top?
In Douchemas's so called mind his Mother was perfect, he never knew about her attempt at doing the world a favor, while Acantha's mother was a "gold digging slut with pretensions of grandeur."
We do have to remember the only safe course here is to throw him in a stasis pod so his doomsday scenario never happens.
Not at all, as long as they're dead he can remember them all exactly the way he wants to so they all fit his version of reality perfectly. His mother was HIS mother, so if he's a paragon of perfection, she must of been one too. (Especially since dear ol' dad didn't quite make the grade).
Very well put, Tim. Douchimus is twisting history to suit his own world view how ever divorced from reality that is.
Damn I'm glad Lynn and Acantha are safely behind Aeneas'walls and out of his reach. He has COMPLETELY lost it in regards to them. I doubt they would long survive his attention. In mind, if not in body.
"Douchimus is twisting history to suit his own world view how ever divorced from reality that is."
Kind of like the current candidates for the Republican nomination? (Sorry for bringing up IRL politics on your site Ladies. But as an outsider to US politics, it actually frightens me that my country's "closest ally" could be ruled by those despots. Please remove this comment if you wish.)
I think this is why I have such a deep and visceral reaction to La Douche.
He (it) reminds far me too much a wannabe La Prima Donald but in filigreed armor and possessed of better hair implants. La Douche want to bang his sister and La Dona want to bang his daughter, Ivana.
Hey man, seriously unless you want me to go on an epic ten page rant of exactly what I think is wrong with the current leadership of the US please keep real world politics out of here. There's plenty of places to discuss what's going on in the real world and I'd really rather they not creep into the places I go to get away from them.
Decimus's mother was a narcissist who viewed her son as an extension of herself. She spoiled and pampered him so that he would be more attached to her, and any compliments he garnered would be "hers". Babies are selfish by design, concerned solely with having their own needs met, but she had expected her son to be a "perfect child" that never cried or fussed or inconvenienced her in any way, and when that unrealistic expectation wasn't met, she reacted badly. After that incident, Kali became the baby's full-time caretaker. Mommy Dearest only came back into the picture once Decimus was walking and talking.
By the way, douchie just acknowledged that it was Acantha who was designated as heir - does that not put her command over douchie's? And invalidate douchie's commands? I guess he soon will confess to the murder of his parent(s)... And I believe Kali's programming then would allow her to act against douchie...
Oooo. Yeah, that should have exactly that effect. Sloppy programming to let the inhibitor's rules get defrauded when it KNOWS its being deceived. Kali could have her wish, and we could open a bottle of champagne.
Unfortunately Visvires I don't detect 'sloppy' programming in regards to Kali. In fact she seems as tightly bound as if bound by Glepnir itself. I just hope Kali can be freed some way short of Ragnarok.
Algorithms (and the Law) love technicalities. If the prior prince confided to Decimus his _intention_ to name Princess Acantha his heir, but did not execute a revised Instrumentt of Succession before his untimely (and completely mysterious) death, then ithat fact has no more force than any other idle rumor, random hearsay, or treasonous muttering. The fact that Valerius harbored intentions, but did not act on them, does not galvanize Kali into action in a way that is both completely like and completely unlike the fact that Kali's intentions that she is unable (or unwilling) to act upon do not galvanize her watchdog into action. (At least as far as I can tell. I have been wrong about so many speculations, this could be just another of them. ^_^)
Geez Caligula, you're totally missing the Snidely Whiplash mustache but you're doing a pretty good job on checking off every other box for melodrama-villain absurd-level eeeeeevil. Consider the check marks on the list for these: Substance abuse habit(s), incestuous rape attempt, other successful rapes, completed patricide, completed coup attempt, backstabbing your own general during the run-up to a war, wiring up a fucking kingdom to self-destruct when you die, kidnapping foreign dignitaries into slavery, establishing own brownshirt squad that kills and terrorizes, building an army of robotic mooks, and hatching vague and impractical plans to conquer the world which blow up in your face before you get a tenth as far as the actual Hitler got. At this point he isn't missing much else besides yelling out, "I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids!"
The Cassians aren't the robot mooks: Those are the robot dudes accompanying the blue stormtroopers.
You're totally right about them saying, "Curses!" though.
You know, "I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids!" would make a very good mouseover text for a very satisfying future comic.
Is it just me or does Kali sound like she isn't expecting to survive? Too closely linked to the disease (that is Douchimus)? It will be kind of sad if Kali is destroyed. She struggled so hard to balance the good of Nova Roma against the diseased rantings of Douchimus.
As I recall, Kali's bio says that she realizes her fate is tied to that of Decimus, since she has become far too unpopular to survive him for very long (pending unlocked for circumstances). Which means (I suspect) that she realized that Decimus signed her death warrant when he sent assassins after Maxus -- whether they succeeded or not. Since then she's just being the loyal samurai and playing out the string.
Maxus understands Kali's programming. If her loyalty had fully transferred to Acantha, I don't see him holding a grudge against her for the assassination attempt.
He rightly won't trust her until that's fully realized, though.
No~No Oprah and Dr. Phil then he and Kali on that "Celebrity" Show when the "Famous" married couples spend a season locked up in a house where everyone hates everyone else, followed by a guest appearance on "Christley Knows Best" and finally revive "The Apprentice" and let Trump fire him a few times.
The most hardcore survival show I have seen so far, was one called "Alone" from Canada.
Ten guys in seperate locations on vancouver island, with bears, cougars and wolves around them .. and they didn't have a gun.
Couldn't work together, no connection with others, no time limit, and no knowledge of how well the others were doing.
They didn't even have a group of people filming them, they had to film it themselves.
I had fun writing the script for this one, in the same way it's fun to play in the mud when you know for a 100% fact that you can stop whenever you want and get a shower to wash off all the muck.
If I am not mistaken, Dr. Silver could stop the dooms day on Decimus death programs. It would be ironic if a cyberpath freed the Casians to act as they want and should be acting. That is for the good of the country, not the rantings of a mad dictator. I think they would be rather conflicted in the "thanks for freeing us, but I still must kill you" department.
Believe I suggested this scenario when Silver took over the node and was informed, by out gracious Hostess with the Mostess Cliffhangers, that Douchimas was the only one who could shut off or trigger the doomsday effect. THUS i have been suggesting a Stasis Pod where he "lives forever" hopefully fully aware of what happens in the world, a 24/7 live feed to Fox News with Sarah Palin and Donald Trump as the commentators sounds about right.
Translated and made audible by the Speak & Spell voice. Also with random variance on the volume.
Though I think Decimus may be sufficiently insane that none of these sorts of plans would phase him so much as just sending him to his own little, "They'll rue the day..." fantasy to the exclusion of all else.
I'm still betting on the contingencies turning out to be shell game created by grandpa to keep the Empire in order after Aeneas was taken off line. The successors have all thought they're real and acted accordingly ever since.
I can see the possibility Tim; however, I'm not ENOUGH of a gambler to call it if it is a bluff. I mean, if you are wrong it is kind of final. At least not without some PROOF that they are a paper tiger.
If they were inherited, then Dec's patricide-regicide would've been a trigger. Which would imply that they are a bluff. Which is not a problem for him to know, but Acantha would figure it out, having heard of them during her father's reign and noticing the conspicuous absence of Armageddon after the death by quickdraw. She'd have not relayed misinformation to Dolly at the tram.
Valerius seems like he was supposed to be a fairly decent man. That being the case, he wouldn't have wanted the full Doomsday trigger. He might've had the system set up with the ability for all those commands, but he wouldn't have triggered them with his death.
Rose stated that Decimus worked on them. Also the names for each of the three contingencies definitely sound like Decimus, so he configured them to some degree definitely.
I'm still of the mind that the system the contingencies are based upon is a part of Aeneas disconnected from his will, and that when sufficiently repaired he'll be able to just take it back as part of himself and ignore Decimus' command. Possibly disconnecting that and putting in human control was the whole point of the attack on him.
I think they brute forced it (as in mechanically, not guessing). Though if the combo wasn't changed by Acantha, Dolly/Ceci, or comic Tokyo Rose, it wouldn't be odd for Kali to have record of it in her memory.
That's very possible. I think Decimus cut Kali off in the middle of her explanation of the lock, and ordered her to try his birthday as the password. If she does know the password, she was probably thrilled that he commanded her to use the wrong one.
I imagine that she's gotten quite adept at subtly steering him toward the "wrong" choices, and dragging her feet just enough that his impatience kicks in, causing him to order her to do what she wanted, even though it's not what he originally wanted. Essentially, she'd be provoking a "Do what I say, not what I mean."
I know her programming won't let her directly act against him, but maybe it let her start a very important description of how the lock works, instead of immediately going to the lock, and entering the correct password. It's not her fault that he didn't ask if she knew the password.
(I don't know what page that was on, so I might not be remembering it correctly)
Wait. He just told her that his father intended to elevate Acantha to the throne. That means he is a usurper. She is sworn to serve the throne - and now that means Princess Acantha.
I think that means that her inhibitor no longer protects him nor binds her to follow his orders. In fact, in her place I'd almost bet the most immediate course of action she would be allowed (or even compelled) to follow would be disabling the contingencies and then taking off his pointy little head.
Guess paraphrased song lyrics might tell the story here.
"If you could read my mind douchebag
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
About a ghost from a wishing well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
You know that ghost is me
And I will never be set free
As long as you're the douchebag we all see"
Also love the song lyrics what music is it from.
She is also stuck with two conflicting prime directives as I read it: 1) Serve the ruler of the city and 2) protect the Livius family. She has to actively protect the two siblings, except one is a murderous crazy person with their sights on the other.
Not that she'd hesitate in protecting Acantha from him, I'm sure.
He'd have the stroke he so richly deserves.
(Sorry, I am really getting sick of Dec. Ladies - I think you are over-writing him. I haven't wanted the removal of a character so badly since I can't remember when!!!) Pith him and his 'heart' would still be beating, and with life-support, it could continue nearly indefinitely....
She has a blade, the accuracy, speed and definitely the desire.... GO FOR IT DAMN IT!!!!
Not another page o'Dec!!!!!!!
Although, at this point, I'm tempted to yell "LONG LIVE DECIMUS, FOR TWO MORE PAGES!!!", but I will restrain myself, because I'm a gentleman.
{edit} Rather than being annoyed by Decimus, I'm experiencing gleeful anticipation at him realising what awaits him (especially if the exits are shut off).
Oh. We didn't. Never mind. ^_^
Seriously ... my wife, on first viewing the Fifth Element (Bruce Willis and Milla Jovovich), HATED Michael Tucker's character Ruby Rod. I mean _passionately_ hated him. After I explained to her that that was the point, and that the character serves a comic and necessary purpose, she rewatched the movie and 'got it'. Now she agrees he is an important part of the film.
Decimus rings true as a loathesome waste of life. He is like a solid gold chamberpot. His words are like exquisite examples of Vogon poetry. Without Decimus, we don't get Maxus and Acantha, so you keep on doing what you're doing. ^_^
And if yes, does Deci know?
It would have been possible though. It's not unknown for kids losing a parent at young age to create a perfect dream version of them in their head.
Anyway, when talking about his mother, he asks Kali if she remembers, "How graceful and elegant and noble she was?" Yet... Earlier he called Acantha's mother a "lowly dancing girl," when she was actually the prima ballerina of a prominent dance troupe. And in terms of 'grace and elegance', isn't that rather difficult to top?
We do have to remember the only safe course here is to throw him in a stasis pod so his doomsday scenario never happens.
Damn I'm glad Lynn and Acantha are safely behind Aeneas'walls and out of his reach. He has COMPLETELY lost it in regards to them. I doubt they would long survive his attention. In mind, if not in body.
Kind of like the current candidates for the Republican nomination? (Sorry for bringing up IRL politics on your site Ladies. But as an outsider to US politics, it actually frightens me that my country's "closest ally" could be ruled by those despots. Please remove this comment if you wish.)
He (it) reminds far me too much a wannabe La Prima Donald but in filigreed armor and possessed of better hair implants. La Douche want to bang his sister and La Dona want to bang his daughter, Ivana.
By the way, douchie just acknowledged that it was Acantha who was designated as heir - does that not put her command over douchie's? And invalidate douchie's commands? I guess he soon will confess to the murder of his parent(s)... And I believe Kali's programming then would allow her to act against douchie...
But it is a very believable one.
People always forget the "Curses!"
And truth be told, he didn't built the Cassians. He inherited them.
You're totally right about them saying, "Curses!" though.
He rightly won't trust her until that's fully realized, though.
Unfortunately we completely forgot to send the necessary supplies with him.
Or which island it is.
But I'm sure everything's just shiny!
Ten guys in seperate locations on vancouver island, with bears, cougars and wolves around them .. and they didn't have a gun.
Couldn't work together, no connection with others, no time limit, and no knowledge of how well the others were doing.
They didn't even have a group of people filming them, they had to film it themselves.
Though I think Decimus may be sufficiently insane that none of these sorts of plans would phase him so much as just sending him to his own little, "They'll rue the day..." fantasy to the exclusion of all else.
Can we kill him now?
So I figure they're Dec's creation, bluff or not.
Rose stated that Decimus worked on them. Also the names for each of the three contingencies definitely sound like Decimus, so he configured them to some degree definitely.
I'm still of the mind that the system the contingencies are based upon is a part of Aeneas disconnected from his will, and that when sufficiently repaired he'll be able to just take it back as part of himself and ignore Decimus' command. Possibly disconnecting that and putting in human control was the whole point of the attack on him.
:D
Or they just cut it open with their power-swords.
I imagine that she's gotten quite adept at subtly steering him toward the "wrong" choices, and dragging her feet just enough that his impatience kicks in, causing him to order her to do what she wanted, even though it's not what he originally wanted. Essentially, she'd be provoking a "Do what I say, not what I mean."
I know her programming won't let her directly act against him, but maybe it let her start a very important description of how the lock works, instead of immediately going to the lock, and entering the correct password. It's not her fault that he didn't ask if she knew the password.
(I don't know what page that was on, so I might not be remembering it correctly)