Comic 1353 - About Five Seconds

19th May 2016, 9:00 PM
About Five Seconds
Average Rating: 5 (23 votes)

Author Notes:

Centcomm 22nd May 2016, 11:13 AM edit delete
Sorry about the lack of comments from me-

Monday is going to be a MAJOR page so be ready for a major event! :D
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mjkj 19th May 2016, 9:01 PM edit delete reply

Go, Lynn...
ProfEtheric 19th May 2016, 9:02 PM edit delete reply

Right? Get 'im!

Douchimus is SOOOOO dead!
mjkj 19th May 2016, 11:10 PM edit delete reply

Yeah, he just does not know it yet...
Sheela 20th May 2016, 8:45 AM edit delete reply

Hitting Lynn while her guardian is right next to her ?

Yeah, he's toast, Dolly is about to go <RAWR> !
Haegan2005 20th May 2016, 5:45 PM edit delete reply

I have a funny feeling it's Acantha that does something. Dolly is getting beat on hard atm and may not be able to do anything effective.

However, Lynn is Acantha's last remaining best friend. And Dec just ... Dec'd her...
Stormwind13 20th May 2016, 9:44 AM edit delete reply

Prof, Douchimus has been dead since he ordered Irene killed! NOT something Maxus is going to let stand! Now Douchimus has COMPOUNDED his mistake by attacking Lynn, Acantha and Arianna who Maxus has under his protection! There is dead, then there is what Maxus will do to Douchimus when he catches him!!! Pure NIGHTMARE fuel!
ProfEtheric 20th May 2016, 10:06 AM edit delete reply

Do you suppose Maxus will have much to work with after Lynn's MAMA BEAR guardian gets to him? :P
Visvires 20th May 2016, 3:08 PM edit delete reply
Yes. HOURS of mopping. He'll probably delegate it, though.
Dragonrider 19th May 2016, 9:04 PM edit delete reply

Don't think he should have done that. Dolly gonna go into hyper drive now to stop Kali and him both, or Acantha is gonna put a slug through his brain.
Mark_L_A 19th May 2016, 9:05 PM edit delete reply

He has just signed his own death warrant
jamie59 19th May 2016, 9:18 PM edit delete reply

Did she break his thumb? Please!
Visvires 19th May 2016, 10:14 PM edit delete reply
"Kraak" suggests a break.
Sheela 20th May 2016, 8:46 AM edit delete reply

Yes she did. :D
Centcomm 22nd May 2016, 11:16 AM edit delete reply

She did break the thumb but more it was a cartalage break rather than bones.
The Old Scribe 19th May 2016, 9:21 PM edit delete reply

Y'know, I think Acantha's forgotten she HAS a damn gun. She keeps dissin' El Doucheo, other people go after him for her and he keeps takin' them out. Yeah, yeah, she's in shock, blah, blah, blah ... get off the dime, Princess and open a can of whup-ass on that prick.

I'm thinkin' a quick death is too good for this asshole. He needs to go out slowly and painfully. I'm thinkin' the Death Of A Thousand Cuts, the Chinese Water Torture, being staked out on an anthill covered in honey or paralyzed and being eaten alive by land crabs.

Any and all other ideas are welcome. ;)
pkrankow 19th May 2016, 9:24 PM edit delete reply

yes, but dead, and double tapped is dead.
The Old Scribe 19th May 2016, 9:30 PM edit delete reply

Agreed, but I want suffering, dammit, agonizing pain and prolonged suffering, then death for dessert.
pkrankow 19th May 2016, 9:32 PM edit delete reply

Dead also removes chain of command problems, there will be only one person who can be recognized as the legitimate ruler.
DLKmusic 19th May 2016, 9:38 PM edit delete reply

Submitted for your approval, Scribe, from the notes of the Marquis De Sade himself...

"I would like to see him flayed alive, then dragged over thistles, then soaked overnight in a barrel of vinager".

Me, personally, Whatever else is done, I want his tongue ripped out by the roots.
Dragonrider 19th May 2016, 9:40 PM edit delete reply

Feed him to a young Murderturd, hang him by his genitals, wrap him in razorwire and roll him down a hill, put him unarmed in the arena in a death match with a killer droid.
Better yet make him watch reruns of The Apprentice and listen to all of Trump's speeches 24/7.
Visvires 19th May 2016, 10:53 PM edit delete reply
Scaphism? If you leave the feeding tube in, he can't talk.
Wolfsbane 20th May 2016, 12:04 AM edit delete reply


Gotta get rid of those things first and *then* have your way with him...
Visvires 20th May 2016, 12:15 AM edit delete reply
I trust they can fix the Contingencies in the week or two that it takes Scaphism to kill him.
Deoxy 20th May 2016, 2:38 PM edit delete reply
"Y'know, I think Acantha's forgotten she HAS a damn gun."

Uh, EVERYONE seems to be forgetting that <b>Decimus</b> does, too!

(Strapped to his right hip - go back a few pages and check, and nothing has happened with it yet.)
velvetsanity 20th May 2016, 3:08 PM edit delete reply

A couple of pages ago, a lack of ammo for drekhead's gun was mentioned in the comments and attributed to him wasting it all on blast doors when he accused them of treason for not opening for him.
Visvires 20th May 2016, 3:08 PM edit delete reply
We had confirmation from the authors that he ran out of ammo shooting a door.
Tokyo Rose 22nd May 2016, 4:35 PM edit delete reply

The door refused to acknowledge his authority. Such disobedience cannot be tolerated.
lirvilas 19th May 2016, 9:22 PM edit delete reply

I don't think that's what the phrase "opposable thumbs" means... #smalljointmanipulation
Sheela 20th May 2016, 9:22 AM edit delete reply

I dunno man, I'm pretty opposed to decimus' thumbs.
Centcomm 22nd May 2016, 11:15 AM edit delete reply

good one! Iilvilas
Timotheus 19th May 2016, 9:57 PM edit delete reply

That looked and sounded like a wrist to me. Which should distract Kali if nothing else but also eliminates Dec's knife hand from the equation. (Now if Acantha can just stick a gun barrel up someones big mouth...)
Sheela 20th May 2016, 9:23 AM edit delete reply

I don't think Lynn is strong enough to break his wrist, it's more likely that it's his thumb.
Tango Xray Actual 19th May 2016, 10:14 PM edit delete reply
OK, good start... let's take this a joint at a time working from the outside in.

Don't forget the index finger joints of both hands... Chop chop, put the dropped knife to good use!
HiFranc 19th May 2016, 10:31 PM edit delete reply

Wait until the contingencies are disabled (not sure if they will be with Ceci's meddling) and then take him out.
Tango Xray Actual 20th May 2016, 2:57 AM edit delete reply
Consort Qi's fate at the hands of Dowager Empress Lü Zhi is coming to mind as somewhat appropriate... and it doesn't activate the Armageddon protocols either.
Tokyo Rose 22nd May 2016, 4:43 PM edit delete reply

After having his tongue ripped out, his limbs cut off, and his eyes gouged out, he sure as hell wouldn't send back the active response code, so...
Gilrandir 19th May 2016, 10:31 PM edit delete reply
I predict that Decimus will perish neither at the hands of Lynn, nor Acantha. Neither will he die from a thing Kali or Dolly does -- and he will not take his own life.

But I'm probably wrong. ^_^
mjkj 19th May 2016, 11:17 PM edit delete reply

I think you are right. It might be TeeDee who does it...
Sheela 20th May 2016, 9:24 AM edit delete reply

Death by Murderturd.
velvetsanity 20th May 2016, 3:09 PM edit delete reply

Death by murderturd being ridden by an extremely enthusiastic Teedee while Ada is groaning and facepalming at Teedee's antics
Timotheus 20th May 2016, 10:46 PM edit delete reply

I still say his cat is going to do it.
Sheela 21st May 2016, 2:48 AM edit delete reply

And then the cat becomes empress while Acantha takes a vacation. :D
Haegan2005 21st May 2016, 10:42 AM edit delete reply

Goodness! I think we just figured out the plot! Cent and Rose are going to have to scrabble to change it now!
Wolfsbane 21st May 2016, 10:58 AM edit delete reply

The Evil Duo aren't playing board games at a time like this!

Just how many words *can* you make from d,e,c,i,m,u, and s anyway?
Haegan2005 21st May 2016, 11:58 AM edit delete reply

Isn't scrabble how they make their plots?

Tokyo Rose 21st May 2016, 5:28 PM edit delete reply


Nah, our plots are formulated out of the darkest depths of the intellectual sadism that composes our souls.
Haegan2005 21st May 2016, 6:26 PM edit delete reply


Daily Soap Operas!
Gilrandir 21st May 2016, 2:22 PM edit delete reply
I was able to come up with (excluding plurals, prefixes, and past tenses):

Cud, Cue, Cum, Die, Dim, Due, Dues, Ice, Medic, Mice, Miscued, Mud, Muse, Scum, Semi, Sic, Sim, Sue, Sum, Use

But I'm sure there are more. ^_^
Wolfsbane 22nd May 2016, 1:09 AM edit delete reply

@Gilrandir -

Gilrandir 22nd May 2016, 2:22 AM edit delete reply
Styx and Stones, man. I'm talkin' 'bout my generation.

I particularly liked that "Decimus" and "miscued" are anagrams. The best I can come up with for Acantha are either "a can hat", or "can't aha!".

Of course, for Dolly, there's "Lode-224", which makes her 'the mother Lode'. ^_^
Gilrandir 22nd May 2016, 2:59 AM edit delete reply
Also Disc, Music, and Scud.
Gilrandir 22nd May 2016, 3:02 AM edit delete reply
And I can't believe I left out Dice! What kind of gamer am I?
Centcomm 22nd May 2016, 11:15 AM edit delete reply

And from left field.. rocks fall .. everyone dies.
Gilrandir 22nd May 2016, 11:27 AM edit delete reply
Time to roll up new characters, everyone! ^_^

How about a superhero genre? We're a super team and we're all playing antisocial loners, each of which is the best at what they do. (True story. In one of our earliest tries at a Champions game [Hero Games sysrem], with a group of 5, three players' first character proposal was a Wolverine clone. Not just powers, but personality. Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed. "Whadda ya wanna do, Bub?" "I dunno, Bub. Whadda you wanna do?")
Wolfsbane 22nd May 2016, 1:08 PM edit delete reply

@Centcomm - You wouldn't DARE!
HiFranc 19th May 2016, 10:34 PM edit delete reply

Hurting Lynn is probably going to prompt Acantha to get back into the fight.
HiFranc 19th May 2016, 10:41 PM edit delete reply

And Dolly.
plymayer 19th May 2016, 10:57 PM edit delete reply

Aikido or Judo wrist grab?
DLKmusic 19th May 2016, 11:15 PM edit delete reply

What concerns me most about the fight between Dolly and Kali is that they seem to be evenly matched. they are both pushing themselves to their limits in that fight, and the scary thought is that the first one who gets distracted by Lynn, Acantha and Decimus is the one who is going to lose.
Stormwind13 20th May 2016, 9:37 AM edit delete reply

Very good point, DLK. Small distractions can have FATAL consequences in a fight like this one.

As for Dolly going Momma Bear, I think she is already there. I'm not sure she has another gear!
Matt Knab 20th May 2016, 2:49 AM edit delete reply

Woah. o.O
He didn't need that thumb, anyway.
Centcomm 22nd May 2016, 11:14 AM edit delete reply

Nope he sure didnt!
KarToon12 20th May 2016, 3:45 AM edit delete reply

He deserves the worst punishment imaginable...stepping on Legos in bare feet! >:(
Just_IDD 20th May 2016, 8:23 AM edit delete reply
I'd agree, but I stepped on an old style computer ROM once. 16 small daggers into my heel. It hurt so much that I've forgotten what it feels like to step on a lego.
Stormwind13 20th May 2016, 10:23 AM edit delete reply

There are worse things, KarToon. Remember Douchimus lives in a world of advanced nanotechnology. Some of them work into him, block signals to his limbs so he can't use them. Then have oodles of more nanites cover him, find a nerve ending and feed a signal into it. EVERY nerve ending sending a PAIN signal into his brain, until he shuts down or the nanites burn out! Repeat as needed. }:->
Guest 20th May 2016, 1:40 PM edit delete reply
while much more to my liking you do have to reducing the pain to a level that leaves enough of the targets brain that they'll understand what they are feeling..
Visvires 20th May 2016, 3:15 PM edit delete reply
Turn it on and off by a repeating timer. Randomize the length of the OFF periods.
Visvires 20th May 2016, 5:53 AM edit delete reply
Is this going to swap focus just as Decimus dies? Dolly vs Kali as the foreground, and Decimus's face obscured by a panel?
Boren 20th May 2016, 5:55 AM edit delete reply

wow for all the training he suppose to have had he really sucks at combat. I mean seriously I far from consider myself an expert, but, even I could have slipped away from that one sans the broken thumb, oh and slashed my opponents hand up good for their effort.
Stormwind13 20th May 2016, 7:05 AM edit delete reply

Scrapper-lock, Boren.

Douchimus is a murderous AMATEUR. As he demonstrated on Kyle, he has skills. As Maxus demonstrated though he is not up to professional standards.
Dragonrider 20th May 2016, 9:07 AM edit delete reply

What everyone but Mjkj and I seem to have forgotten. The torturer of expert, extended and unappriacted cliffhangers told us several pages back when the last "Bluebell" ran, Ada and TeeDee are around the corner coming from a side corridor. She also told us Ceci has a pivotal role to play in the drama, what if Ceci has taken control of all Nova Roman Weapon Systems so the fail sale can't activate? Hopefully she does this kicks watchdogs ass and comes home to Mommy in time to finish off Kali.
Stormwind13 20th May 2016, 12:00 PM edit delete reply

They aren't visible in the hall, Dragonrider. Until they are, they might as well be on the moon for the impact they will have on this unfolding drama. Since none of these players know they are inbound, it won't change anything that is happening.
chk 20th May 2016, 11:50 AM edit delete reply

Teeth then thumb. Let's take that motherfucker apart piece by piece.

Everyone can have some satisfaction and nobody hogs all the fun.

Just a thought.
Guest 20th May 2016, 12:13 PM edit delete reply
Much as we dislike his douchiness, and there have been some inventive suggestions for expressing that disklike, remember the Evil Overlord rules. Specifically, do not play with your food. If something needs to be killed, do it as quickly and efficiently as possible. The longer something lingers, the more chances your plans can be derailed.
Morituri 20th May 2016, 1:05 PM edit delete reply
So... Missing a few teeth, abandoned by his praetorians, disarmed of his sword and knife, and with his right hand rendered semi-inoperable.... Deck is less and less of a threat. He can still do stuff like punching Lynn using his left, but in terms of being physically dangerous? Otherwise, Kali is now literally the only thing he's got going for him.

In fact if Kali is neutralized in any way, he could easily be taken prisoner at this point. He isn't even able to pose a physical threat to Acantha or Lynn any more. If one of them calls him a shitbag, his options come down to quivering like a nice little shitbag whether he likes it or not. He may yell about it, but physically speaking, he can't even effectively defend himself from a swift kick to the balls and then it's back to quivering.

Contingencies be damned. Nobody has to kill Deck because Deck is no longer a threat. The only thing right now between Acantha and the throne is Kali.
Stormwind13 20th May 2016, 2:24 PM edit delete reply

Until he is drooling on the ground, Morituri, I'm not discounting Douchimus. He is too out of contact with reality for me to count him out until he is so physically broken he literally can't move.
Hornet 20th May 2016, 4:41 PM edit delete reply
Agreed so break his wrist and ankles.
DLKmusic 20th May 2016, 5:49 PM edit delete reply

and rip his tongue out by the roots so we don't have to listen to his Oral Diarrhea anymore!!!!!!
Cal 20th May 2016, 1:30 PM edit delete reply
And the descent into madness is complete. I suspect Douchie-boy's story arc is about to become a flat line.
Timotheus 20th May 2016, 2:58 PM edit delete reply

As I mentioned yesterday (or so), Decimus is just the sort to set off the contingencies to spite everyone if he feels his game is up. (I always win!) So the closer to the wall he gets, the more dangerous it becomes.
I've come to the conclusion that Dr. Silva could probably short circuit the system if she was close to him or the command node and knew what was going on though.
Hornet 20th May 2016, 4:36 PM edit delete reply
Agreed If she only knew. If she knew, I don't really think distance is important only that it be connected to it network.
Visvires 20th May 2016, 7:42 PM edit delete reply
Is it a biometric with a button, or just a biometric?
TheSkulker 20th May 2016, 11:28 PM edit delete reply

Of all the suggestions about how to maximize a painful death of the douchbag, Visvires's ref to Scaphism [], strikes me as the most fitting. It is off the scale of inhumanity to man and would subject him to up to three weeks of wishing for death. It is so unbelievably horrible I could not wish it on anyone else.
Dragonrider 21st May 2016, 9:23 AM edit delete reply

You know the Ancient Chinese Emperors had a death sentence they seemed to enjoy, it involved hungry rats a cage and the condemned prisoner.
TheSkulker 22nd May 2016, 9:33 PM edit delete reply

What? You want to let him off easy? Rats and a cage is nothing compared to Scaphism.
Read the description in the above link. Not in the same ballpark!
Tokyo Rose 22nd May 2016, 4:46 PM edit delete reply

Ah, scaphism. Classic.
Rashala 21st May 2016, 1:30 AM edit delete reply

Time til Dolly turns him into pink paste t minus. 4......3.....2.......1
Dragonrider 21st May 2016, 9:25 AM edit delete reply

Think you mean until Kali meets the First Circuit. Her programming will insure she looks to see how badly injured Douchy is and Dolly will capitalize on that.
Rashala 22nd May 2016, 12:57 AM edit delete reply

No that part of the countdown the four to two actually
Wolfsbane 22nd May 2016, 1:10 AM edit delete reply

Maybe it's 25... or 6 to 4....
Stormwind13 22nd May 2016, 6:50 AM edit delete reply

It is definitely NOT Saturday In The Park; however, Kung fu fighting would be DEFINITELY appropriate! :-D
Romfire 22nd May 2016, 5:50 PM edit delete reply
I can't help think that Dolly was fully aware of the Cassians being the most dangerous threat they would face and planning for this battle. The Attack in the last pannel a page or two back shows some kind of energy attack. With the advance technology she would have access to, I would put my money on weapons that would disrupt an android's systems. I really don't think she would be caught unprepared or with out a number of back up contingencies.
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