Comic 1544 - Medical Assessment

26th Dec 2017, 9:00 PM
Medical Assessment
Average Rating: 5 (17 votes)
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Ictuan 26th Dec 2017, 9:05 PM edit delete reply
Yay! Finally an update on how Acantha (aka Empress Dishwasher) is doing. Now we get to find out what she thinks of her temporary artificial heart.
Centcomm 27th Dec 2017, 1:12 AM edit delete reply

yep that we do!
jamie59 26th Dec 2017, 9:07 PM edit delete reply

Synthetic heart don't feel right. But do you miss your new buddy Lynn?
Centcomm 27th Dec 2017, 1:13 AM edit delete reply

actually .. heart surgery period feels weird. And Acantha's was emergency to boot :D
Sheela 27th Dec 2017, 3:03 AM edit delete reply

Any sort of surgery is kinda weird.

Though I have heard from good sources, that having a stroke while sleeping and waking up with half your body paralyzed, should be REALLY weird.
Hornet 27th Dec 2017, 8:14 AM edit delete reply
Don't think I'd find the weird, but rather Absolutely Friggen Terrifying.
Centcomm 27th Dec 2017, 8:21 AM edit delete reply

AFT .. yep it is actually. But its better than NOT waking up.
Deoxy 27th Dec 2017, 8:58 AM edit delete reply
"better than not waking up"

Well, you've never done that, so you wouldn't know.

Unfortunately, we inherently can't ever talk to someone who has done that, either.

But for those of us still here, we appreciate that you woke up.
megados 26th Dec 2017, 9:13 PM edit delete reply

Scene change!
Re: alt text, OK, yeah, it does sound funny.

I can understand Acantha's uneasiness; not being able to feel one's heartbeat would be very disconcerting.

In the last panel, the camera angle across the doctor's instrument pad, and fingertips close up, against the view of Acantha is kinda cool! :D
Morituri 26th Dec 2017, 10:11 PM edit delete reply
It is kinda cool.

And this time we have 26th century technology, so we can just retcon in that one-micron lens with infinite depth of focus.
Centcomm 27th Dec 2017, 1:12 AM edit delete reply

I giggled like a fiend at that one..
Sheela 27th Dec 2017, 3:06 AM edit delete reply

Darn those datapads, for not blurring up when in a close-up-shot like that! >_<
megados 27th Dec 2017, 11:30 AM edit delete reply

See, that's the thing; it usually is. Because of that, this is a bit unusual, and that's why it's cool.
Timotheus 26th Dec 2017, 10:10 PM edit delete reply

A very legitimate weird feeling and one she deserves to be reassured about (that it will be temporary).
With her cultural background it's one of those easy to understand intellectually but impossible to accept emotionally concepts.
Centcomm 27th Dec 2017, 1:14 AM edit delete reply

yep. i agree
Sheela 27th Dec 2017, 3:07 AM edit delete reply

It's actually odd, that they haven't invented a synthetic heart capable of imitating a pulse ... a pulse is actually quite important.
megados 29th Dec 2017, 8:34 PM edit delete reply

They probably have fancier ones if a person is going to keep an artificial heart permanently. This one is just to tide Acantha over until her biological one is ready.

I agree that this would be very uncomfortable for Acantha. Such a change in one's own body would be unnerving.
xpacetrue 26th Dec 2017, 10:38 PM edit delete reply

"Empress Super Taco Paddleball Dishwasher"

LOL! That's great! :D Did Tokyo Rose come up with that line?
Tokyo Rose 27th Dec 2017, 1:05 AM edit delete reply

It came to me out of the blue. I've been waiting a while to use it. When Cent was recovering from her heart surgery last year, I happened to be there when they asked her a few questions post-surgery. One actually was "what is your name?"
Centcomm 27th Dec 2017, 1:12 AM edit delete reply

I dont even remember what i answered :D
Sheela 27th Dec 2017, 3:08 AM edit delete reply

You probably claimed to be a My Little Pony. :D
Tokyo Rose 27th Dec 2017, 10:15 PM edit delete reply

You managed to answer clearly, but then went on a tangent about how you really, really didn't want to be ever be addressed by a particular diminutive form of your middle name. You stayed on that track until I distracted you by going "Hey, what's this?" and jingling my car keys.
megados 28th Dec 2017, 2:02 PM edit delete reply

I won't ask the nickname, only whether Cent is justified in her reluctance. ;)
Abibliboop 29th Dec 2017, 11:48 AM edit delete reply
You seriously distracted her with jingling keys? That is so awesome. 8^D
StellarJay 28th Dec 2017, 12:33 AM edit delete reply

"What is your name?" would be very important to answer correctly if you're ever questioned by the bridgekeeper at the bridge of death. Acantha would have failed that one at the very beginning.
Sheela 28th Dec 2017, 7:40 PM edit delete reply

Lets hope she can answer the third question :
"What, is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
antrik 29th Dec 2017, 7:27 AM edit delete reply
That's what she has Aeneas for ;-)
chk 29th Dec 2017, 7:43 AM edit delete reply

African Swallow or European Swallow?
Sheela 29th Dec 2017, 4:01 PM edit delete reply

Well done Chk. :)
chk 30th Dec 2017, 4:29 PM edit delete reply

Sheela, To let your comment go unanswered would be unconscionable.
Sheela 31st Dec 2017, 4:08 AM edit delete reply

No, no, ROUS' and Swallows have nothing to do with one another !
chk 31st Dec 2017, 10:03 AM edit delete reply

Rodents Of Unusual Size?
Gilrandir 30th Dec 2017, 6:10 AM edit delete reply
At least now we know what Acantha's FaceBook alias is. ^_^
mjkj 27th Dec 2017, 2:08 AM edit delete reply

Yayyy, Acantha is back... =D <3

Oh, no pulse??? Acantha is dead??? nooo, zombieee... 8o

Aaawwww, Acantha looks so subdued in that last panel... *hugs her*

*lol* Dain brammage... =P
Sheela 27th Dec 2017, 3:10 AM edit delete reply

Yup, she's basically a hightech Zombie !
Well, at least it's only temporary.
antrik 27th Dec 2017, 12:34 PM edit delete reply
"Drain bamage" would be cooler, though.
megados 29th Dec 2017, 7:37 PM edit delete reply

Eh, keeping the consonant sounds intact seems cooler.
antrik 30th Dec 2017, 1:46 PM edit delete reply
You mean the BR? Well, maybe... But I find it funnier if it forms actual words, like a proper spoonerism.

(Admittedly, this one only gets half there anyway...)
megados 30th Dec 2017, 4:02 PM edit delete reply

To each his (or her) own. Nothing is engraved in stone. I've heard it both ways, although "Dain bramage" seems less common, and I guess I'm rooting for the underdog here. :D

Keeping the consonant sounds intact just seems phonetically neater to me.
antrik 31st Dec 2017, 7:17 PM edit delete reply
I don't remember having heard either before... Wasn't aware that it's so common.
Greenwood Goat 27th Dec 2017, 4:13 AM edit delete reply
Super Taco Paddleball Dishwasher sounds like a flash game. Possibly featuring Nyan Cat as a bonus character. That's the game concept already there in the title: a leftover taco shoved in the dishwasher with the tableware, trying to survive. Avoid the water and detergent, pick up the grease and oil as protection, pick up stray discarded ingredients to incorporate into your taco shell, and try to get through the wash and rinse cycles intact. Now, the paddleball part...

Yasakani: *poises virtual pen over virtual notepad* Yes, the paddleball part... go on... ^u^

Kusanagi: What are you wasting processor power on now, Yasakani?

Yasakani: *casually posts project definition*

Kusanagi: ...I do not believe this is really a human intel gathering application. Or that anyone would desire to partake of such ridiculous and poor entertainment.

Yasakani: Huh... would you please continue, Goat-san? About the paddleball part... and the green jade gem as a bonus character, perhaps...? ^ω^

A few months later...

Gutter playing on stolen tablet: C'mon ya fuckin' piece'a-

Princess Super Taco Paddleball Dishwasher (on tablet): For Super-Secret Power-UP - TELL ME ANOTHER SECRET!!

Gutter (to tablet): Uh- I've murdered over a hunnerd-

Princess STPD (on tablet): Heard it! *YAWN* Try something new!

Gutter: I think I got lice in ma-

Princess STPD (on tablet): LAME!!

Gutter: ALRIGHT, BITCH - I'm gonna set an ambush with a buncha other guys over at Red Gulch an' lure in some'a those S&R cunts from Noo Troy!

Princess STPD (on tablet): *asswiggle* *handclap* Oh yes! *magical girl pose* Super Secret POWERUP: YASAKANI NO MAGATAMA!! *transforms taco avatar into Yasakani no Magatama*

Gutter: Ha! Try touchin' me now, pussy waterdrops! Green booger gem rules!

Tokyo Rose (in cyberspace): Another piece of useful intel to share with Cent-Comm. You can never go broke underestimating the taste of the public. Or its intelligence.

Yasakani: Ha ha, yes!

Kusanagi: *grunt* *scowl*

mjkj 27th Dec 2017, 6:29 AM edit delete reply

*lol* great intel idea, 🐐 =)
megados 27th Dec 2017, 7:09 AM edit delete reply

ROFL! Good one!
Centcomm 27th Dec 2017, 8:20 AM edit delete reply

antrik 27th Dec 2017, 12:31 PM edit delete reply
Flash games are passée; but it sounds like a sure winner as a mobile title :-)
Sheela 27th Dec 2017, 4:30 PM edit delete reply

I read it as Princess STD .... things got weird.
Tokyo Rose 27th Dec 2017, 10:17 PM edit delete reply

Tokyo Rose: I honestly wish that I could be surprised by this shit. It was nice to have an optimistic view of humanity for all of thirty seconds.
Sheela 28th Dec 2017, 7:53 PM edit delete reply

Nonsense, it's not humanity that you have a problem with, it's all the idiots *in* humanity.

Frankly, despite humanity's flaws, you (Rose and AIS's) have a soft spot for them, kinda like this kitten, small, frail and left to it's own devices it will likely die - But it still tugs at your heartstring, does it not?
megados 30th Dec 2017, 5:28 PM edit delete reply

Wow, @Rose, I'm aghast. I would have guessed a couple of "drop your head and shake it" before a complete dismissal! :D
Romfire 27th Dec 2017, 12:23 PM edit delete reply
I was just thinking that a synthetic heart could be made to do about anything. But the least stress would be just to pump blood. Maybe they could dial up a pulse now that she is more stable? We will see.
Grault 27th Dec 2017, 1:16 PM edit delete reply
A pulse would mean the heart sometimes doesn’t pump blood, which it is probably always doing right now. That would probably mean it should be hooked up to the nerves that normally go to the heart so it can quicken on demand. For a basically cosmetic feature, that’s a lot of complexity.

They could implement some other, simpler sign of life, like a blinking light on your chest, but that wouldn’t help Acantha’s existential crisis.
megados 28th Dec 2017, 7:54 AM edit delete reply

Seeing as how the end goal is to implant a grown/cloned/biological heart, I don't think a lot of fuss went into this temporary replacement. Medicine is probably advanced enough, to where this could likely be a single-use throwaway device.
Centcomm 28th Dec 2017, 9:18 PM edit delete reply

Your right Mega it is a disposable.
megados 31st Dec 2017, 5:43 AM edit delete reply

Good to know. Thanks @Centcomm :)
antrik 27th Dec 2017, 1:07 PM edit delete reply
[Squeeeee] Finally we get to see my favourite witty characters interacting :-) And Empress Dishwasher seems to be back to her usual sassy self!
Sheela 27th Dec 2017, 4:31 PM edit delete reply

Gotta admit, I enjoy the sassiness. :)
antrik 27th Dec 2017, 1:09 PM edit delete reply
Dr. Demark looks concerned... Are we to understand that he sensed Empress Dishwasher's uneasiness with her Mutant Powers?
DLKmusic 28th Dec 2017, 10:32 AM edit delete reply

I don't think anything was ever revealed to Acantha about Dr. Denmark's empathic ability, @antrik. I think Dr. Denmark is concerned because she's a Doctor, and she is assessing the state of a patient that nearly died.
mjkj 28th Dec 2017, 2:22 PM edit delete reply

IIRC: it was mentioned that Dr. Demark is an empath

Edit: please check the cast page and comic 53
antrik 28th Dec 2017, 2:28 PM edit delete reply
@mjkj we know she is. @DLKmusic's point was that Acantha might not now.
mjkj 28th Dec 2017, 3:03 PM edit delete reply

Ah, thanks, Antrik.

Seems I did not read DLK's post correct... - sorry.

I do not think Acantha is aware of that...
antrik 28th Dec 2017, 2:27 PM edit delete reply
The fact that the ability (possibly) hasn't been revealed yet, doesn't mean she can't make use of it...
KarToon12 27th Dec 2017, 6:24 PM edit delete reply

She IS not all there yet. That's QUEEN Dishwasher! XD
Sheela 28th Dec 2017, 8:06 PM edit delete reply

Empress thy name is Cat!
Pete 27th Dec 2017, 10:17 PM edit delete reply
Nobody said anything about the fingerprints. Maybe that's a deficiency in the program(software). No offense intended. Just surprised nobody's mentioned it. And thinking back, I don't think I've ever seen a closeup in any online art that had fingerprints...
Myrivion 28th Dec 2017, 1:14 AM edit delete reply
Actually, a peristaltic pump is very simple in concept and can pulse just like a heart. Additionally, modern pacemakers can adjust to exercise levels, and I imagine any artificial heart could be designed to do the same. So I'm not sure why Acantha doesn't have a pulse - the most likely explanation is that her cardiovascular system is still fragile and the medics want to avoid the higher load of a pulse for now, although it will ultimately be healthier to have a pulse.

Last panel, it looks like there is a crack in Acantha's shoulder. Having said that, it always amazes me that anyone can put out strips of this quality even once a week.
Centcomm 28th Dec 2017, 7:45 AM edit delete reply

damn forgot to blur that out/..

Actually its a very efficent pump and but unlike a muscle pump she doesnt 'feel' it were she to listen to it she woudl hear it working.
Naldru 28th Dec 2017, 1:09 PM edit delete reply
The alt message on the image says "Dain damage" instead of "Brain damage". I'm not sure if that is a typo or something I just don't understand.

It could be that the artificial heart contains a pulsation damper to reduce strain on the body. This would reduce the difference between the systolic and diastolic pressure and would eliminate the feeling of "pulse". The blood would still be flowing normally.
antrik 28th Dec 2017, 2:31 PM edit delete reply
It says "Dain Bramage". And I think we can safely assume that it's for comedic effect :-)
Ebonbolt 29th Dec 2017, 4:56 PM edit delete reply

I know of a D&D character who went by Dain Bramage…
Rashala 30th Dec 2017, 12:52 AM edit delete reply

Going from a muscle that had been beating her entire life to a quiet artificial pump even temporarily has to be very....unerving
megados 30th Dec 2017, 4:38 PM edit delete reply

Boren 31st Dec 2017, 12:42 PM edit delete reply
Super Kami guru allows this
Deanatay 4th Mar 2022, 11:37 PM edit delete reply
Chekhov, Patel, rank… *grins* Admiral!
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