Comic 1566 - Outgoing Call

13th Jun 2018, 7:17 PM
Outgoing Call
Average Rating: 5 (21 votes)

Author Notes:

Tokyo Rose 13th Jun 2018, 7:17 PM edit delete
Tokyo Rose
We apologize for the lateness of this page, and humbly beg your favorable consideration, o gentle readers.
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Highlander55 13th Jun 2018, 7:24 PM edit delete reply
Was wondering there Ladies.
Tokyo Rose 13th Jun 2018, 8:30 PM edit delete reply

It's Cent's fault.

runs away from bus
Visvires 13th Jun 2018, 9:41 PM edit delete reply
Buses, unlike bears, do not stop at the first casualty.

But I'm just happy we might be seeing regular updates again. :)
Centcomm 14th Jun 2018, 11:09 AM edit delete reply

Thanks Rose.
robnot 14th Jun 2018, 9:55 PM edit delete reply
has she "feelie" been taking lessons from you rose,,, not quite there yet,, but got a good base..
Sheela 15th Jun 2018, 6:53 AM edit delete reply

Yeah, but busses have reverse gears, and can run over you again!
Rose should be worried, those busses are mean.
They are not even scared of Murderturds!
megados 13th Jun 2018, 7:49 PM edit delete reply

Hilarious colorful dialogue pays the way! All is forgiven, @Tokyo Rose! :D I'm glad to see (I hope) you guys are okay and Thank You!

Re: Alt Text, I'm not a bit surprised! Luna Comm: Hiding in plain sight!
Fairportfan 13th Jun 2018, 10:31 PM edit delete reply - 1967
Centcomm 14th Jun 2018, 11:08 AM edit delete reply

megados 15th Jun 2018, 6:19 AM edit delete reply

LOL, yeah
Centcomm 14th Jun 2018, 11:09 AM edit delete reply

yeah just get tired easy and cant concentrate .. thank you pain killers
Sheela 15th Jun 2018, 7:03 AM edit delete reply

Hah, they never needed to implant anything in our brains!
Heck, all they had to do was release the smartphones, and charge us a load for them.
Now we have kids and oranges, with those smartphones glued to their hands!
Of their own free will !
megados 15th Jun 2018, 9:01 PM edit delete reply

@Centcomm, sorry to hear about that issue, but I'm glad it gets better.

@Sheela, yep that's right. In 1967, no one imagined the impact that such devices as smart phones could have.
Haegan2005 13th Jun 2018, 7:49 PM edit delete reply

"Gentle Readers" ?

Oh my.

Do much to say, so much to get thudded by when I say it! Best to leave this as it is then...

I just have to say, it would be funny if she ran out of money mid call...
Centcomm 14th Jun 2018, 11:09 AM edit delete reply

Hmmm that would be amusing
Sheela 15th Jun 2018, 7:05 AM edit delete reply

But then she wouldn't have time to cuss him out properly !

Rose's work would be neglected - Rose has needs too, y'know?
Particularly the need to invent offensive phrases.
pkrankow 13th Jun 2018, 8:15 PM edit delete reply

Nice pass phrase. Woke people laughing...
Centcomm 14th Jun 2018, 11:09 AM edit delete reply

Sheela 15th Jun 2018, 7:05 AM edit delete reply

Probably a good thing that Decimus never learned of that security phrase though.
Speedy Marsh 18th Jun 2018, 1:35 AM edit delete reply
Decimus: "Hmm... I've never done a NUCLEAR-powered chainsaw before..."
jamie59 13th Jun 2018, 9:07 PM edit delete reply

Hope youall are ok.

How many calls before the douche accepts she's in a borrowed body? 10 20...
Centcomm 14th Jun 2018, 11:10 AM edit delete reply

maybe a few
Lahvak 13th Jun 2018, 9:35 PM edit delete reply
nice touch.

Also, I finally figured out what does the LunaCom logo remind me of: . It has been a long time.
Lahvak 13th Jun 2018, 9:39 PM edit delete reply
Eh, that should be "... common phrases ...", nice touch. Does the post title show up somewhere?
Centcomm 14th Jun 2018, 11:11 AM edit delete reply

actually it does.. check the screen.
Centcomm 14th Jun 2018, 11:10 AM edit delete reply

I never knew that.. its kinda a mishmash of a few things
Rigor 13th Jun 2018, 9:44 PM edit delete reply
I can see how that would be a common pass phrase in Roma.
Centcomm 14th Jun 2018, 11:12 AM edit delete reply

I know right!
Sheela 15th Jun 2018, 7:10 AM edit delete reply

They have a Phrasebook they pick from, it's called "Common Phrases for everything Decimus hates."
The most popular and offensive ones are on Page 1, this one was found on Page 42 … there is a LOT of things that Decimus found offensive.

It was originally intended to be used by officials to avoid angering Decimus, but it ended up a best seller in the entertainment section. :D
Morituri 13th Jun 2018, 10:04 PM edit delete reply
It's probably not a good career move to shut down somebody calling in with a Cassian's ident code. Even if the guy doesn't believe her, she got that code from somewhere. And they've recently had a Cassian go missing. Ignoring someone who has some kind of knowledge about that seems like the sort of thing Maxus would have opinions about.
Guest 13th Jun 2018, 11:47 PM edit delete reply
Indeed. Even during the Douchebag's era that would have been a limiting move... shall we say. Probably even more severely than during Maxus era.

A Professional organization would have a defined protocol for communications and authentication. And someone operating at Cassian's level would have passphrases for rapid priority escalation.
megados 14th Jun 2018, 6:09 AM edit delete reply

Agreed. Even if the guy thinks it's a waster making prank calls, there should be a rapid response team dispatched immediately to find out how and why this waster is calling in with a Cassian ID, and security phrase, while keeping her on the line as long as possible.
Tom 14th Jun 2018, 10:17 AM edit delete reply
This is how I see it going.

Maxus: Who made this man a receptionist?

"I did sir! He's my cousin".

Maxus: Gotta get these assholes out of the palace.
Boren 14th Jun 2018, 2:05 PM edit delete reply

Indeed, I was about to chime in with a "It's funny but not anything remotely like how this would really work" but you folks got me covered
Sheela 15th Jun 2018, 7:17 AM edit delete reply

I see what you did there, Tom - "I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes."

Well, at least Maxus is relatively fair, imagine if he was reported to Kali ? Lucky for him, Kali is dead.
Unfortunately for him, another cassion probably took her place.
Tom 15th Jun 2018, 2:53 PM edit delete reply
Very Astute Sheila! I also picture a long line of people walking out of the palace with pink slips.

Maxus: Have we got them all yet?

Underling: Not yet sir!

Maxus: Keep firing assholes!
Tom 15th Jun 2018, 2:55 PM edit delete reply
Crap, I misspelled her name. : (
Sheela 18th Jun 2018, 8:18 AM edit delete reply

If you create an account, you can edit your posts, have an avatar and be one of us !!
megados 18th Jun 2018, 10:54 AM edit delete reply

One of us!
One of us!
Rashala 13th Jun 2018, 11:47 PM edit delete reply

I for see that person being re assigned to cleaning the palaces fusion coolant pipes with his tongue from now on!
Centcomm 14th Jun 2018, 11:08 AM edit delete reply

hehe maybe!
Sheela 15th Jun 2018, 7:19 AM edit delete reply

Well, at least it's better than being re-assigned as food, for the Murderturd that the church recently aquired.

Even if it is down two legs.
oldastronomer 14th Jun 2018, 12:45 AM edit delete reply
Thank you for a most entertaining update! Was getting a bit concerned about your health(s). Would not the Cassians have extra special comms channels? Whoops- forgot she's in a new non-Cassian chassis!!! Oh Fireworks!!
Centcomm 14th Jun 2018, 11:07 AM edit delete reply

yes . she doesnt have any of her cassian goodies :D
Sheela 15th Jun 2018, 7:21 AM edit delete reply

But she probably still have the software, so a bit of encrypted speedtalk should at the very least get her a meeting with another Cassian, to check her out, if nothing else.

… *if* she can get a connection with a Cassian.
Hornet 14th Jun 2018, 5:35 AM edit delete reply
Course I think my first words on reconnecting would be "Listen hear you douche nozzle".
Centcomm 14th Jun 2018, 11:08 AM edit delete reply

more than likely!
Sheela 15th Jun 2018, 7:25 AM edit delete reply

No, no, he's not nearly villainous enough to become Douchebag of the Year.

But he's working on it. :D
DLKmusic 14th Jun 2018, 10:50 AM edit delete reply

After having to deal with AT&T on numerous occasions regarding the faulty wiring in my area, let's just say I'm holding off on that giggle until I see her in action with that nuclear powered chainsaw!
Centcomm 14th Jun 2018, 11:08 AM edit delete reply

heheh - actually this is all based on the old phone company jokes :D
chk 14th Jun 2018, 12:18 PM edit delete reply

That's the level of frustration I feel every time I have to deal with some pre-programmed piece of AI shit.
Sheela 15th Jun 2018, 7:28 AM edit delete reply

Just wait until you see the levels of frustration a properly customized AI can create. XD
Morituri 16th Jun 2018, 9:13 AM edit delete reply
We really are trying to make them more helpful and useful. Unfortunately the people who buy them don't want them to actually be any smarter....

There's some paranoia right now about things that can learn - trolls will teach them things that deliberately screw with other people. And there's some paranoia about things that can formulate customized direct responses to questions; nobody wants to be liable for them saying something - anything - that the legal department didn't specifically approve.

And then there's the fact that most of the people who put those things in customer-facing positions are cheap bastards who never even get anybody who knows how they work on board, and just make their receptionist read scripted answers for bad sound recordings and have an IT guy who's never seen one before spend one afternoon configuring it.
Sheela 18th Jun 2018, 8:20 AM edit delete reply

Ah yes, wasn't it 4chan that messed around with an AI chat bot, and taught it to hate jews and praise Hitler ?
chk 14th Jun 2018, 12:27 PM edit delete reply

Interesting that "Fuck Decimus with a nuclear-powered chainsaw" is a common phrase.
megados 14th Jun 2018, 2:59 PM edit delete reply

Interesting? Yes. Surprising? Not as much as nuclear powered chainsaws being common enough to make the phrase common. I mean besides fucking Decimus with them, there isn't a lot of use for them any more. :D
Sheela 18th Jun 2018, 8:21 AM edit delete reply

Nuclear-powered Canadian Lumberjacks … they fuckin' love their chainsaws, man !
Siren 14th Jun 2018, 1:21 PM edit delete reply
The Cassians really do resent having to follow Decimus' orders, don't they?
DLKmusic 14th Jun 2018, 4:28 PM edit delete reply

I think the operative word here is "DID", not "DO"...
Hornet 15th Jun 2018, 5:34 AM edit delete reply
Nope, "Do" is correct as they haven't given up that resentment.
mjkj 14th Jun 2018, 3:16 PM edit delete reply


poor Ophie...

@author notes: I hope you are all well...
HiFranc 14th Jun 2018, 3:17 PM edit delete reply

If I was her, this time I would use burst communication to get the screen to display confirmation of identity, what had happened and opinions of the current person.
oldastronomer 15th Jun 2018, 6:25 AM edit delete reply
Yes, but she's in a new chassis. Non-Cassian... Even if she has android burst comms (which do seem to be a NTAS thing after all) the bandwidth on the audio channel on that comms terminal may not be wide enough to accomodate the high freq chirps - it is a public/cheap/vandal-proofish/open terminal after all. Bit like the old fashioned call boxes. I sense openings for epic misunderstandings and further frantic frolics ... !!
Sheela 15th Jun 2018, 7:42 AM edit delete reply

Even if you go down into the audible bandwidth, you'd still be talking about about 32 kbit .. if you make an encrypted text file and transfer it, you could send a lot of text in just a few seconds.

Y'know, like old school modems.
Some Ed 15th Jun 2018, 10:13 AM edit delete reply
You assume that the terminal is actually giving the full bandwidth. Sure, it's displaying a high quality image, but that doesn't say the terminal isn't needing to cut into the speech bandwidth to carry a bit of extra data redundancy, meaning that the audio channel has substandard bandwidth and static to boot.
Centcomm 16th Jun 2018, 12:56 AM edit delete reply

you guys are nailing it ..
HiFranc 16th Jun 2018, 4:22 PM edit delete reply

I was hoping that there was enough time to move beyond radio or even laser technology. There is a hint that Luna provides faster than light communication. That hints that they use a set of quantum entangled particles. If they can make enough to transfer high definition video from millions of locations all over the world (they are ubiquitous) then producing enough for wide band sound should be trivial.
megados 16th Jun 2018, 8:09 PM edit delete reply

I can see your point, @HiFranc, and while I agree the capability might be there, it wouldn't be cost-effective to support wideband audio for voice communication. If you're transmitting a concert performance, it would be beneficial. They can pack a lot more narrower channels on a carrier, so they would want to limit the audio bandwidth, for mostly voice comms, otherwise from a business standpoint, they would be wasting carrier capacity, since most of the traffic would be voice, and video. If Luna Comm is getting seventy five credits per call, I don't think they'd want to do that! :D
Sheela 18th Jun 2018, 5:49 AM edit delete reply

Audio is such a small part of a video stream, and such an important component, that it's almost always given priority though.

Remember, the 32kbit, is *not* wideband audio, it's standard telephone, mono sort of audio. Also, it is a very standardized sort of thing (PCM audio), and will be considered *ancient technology* by the time of Datachasers.

It would be easy for an android to embed a little speedspeak in the same way as an old school modem would do it.

Heck, it would be super beneficial to Luna Comm to allow androids to speedspeak directly with the hardware, it would take up much less bandwidth, and make for *much* shorter calls that way.

In areas of low bandwidth, that would be a great cost saving ability to have.

I do speak with some knowledge on the subject btw, as I am a tele comm technician.
megados 18th Jun 2018, 6:46 AM edit delete reply

I do not disagree with any of your technical points, Sheela :D

My point isn't that at all. It is that wideband audio would be needed for an android to use speedspeak. Remember that their frequency is outside human hearing range, I.E. above 20Khz. A telecomm is usually limited to voice frequency range, and is essentially an analog to digital converter. You would need a much higher sampling rate for frequencies above 20Khz.

The reason I point that out, is because I think that for androids to use "modem speak" rather than speedspeak, they would have to have a subroutine to handle it. They may lack the means to encode it. I don't know how flexible the DC androids are in that area.

Giving androids the advantage might be a two edged sword: It would make call lengths shorter, and save money, but the disadvantaged humans would have something to say about it, as their calls would cost them more. (You know how some people get. Especially around Roma!) :D
Sheela 18th Jun 2018, 8:05 AM edit delete reply

You could "speed speak" at any frequency, the speed would just go down a bit. Heck, even modern broadband, is basically just a bunch of bundled modems strung together.

Heck, she could send it off as high speed morse code, and *still* manage about 1-2kb a second. That's a lot of ASCII characters if done right - Heck, make it short enough, cover it as a hammer drill, and you could claim it as "construction work nearby".
The local douchebag would never know what happened.

As for making call cheaper, drop the video, and just go audio only, and it'll be cheap as dirt again.
Or send them an SMS / text message / e-mail … people have nothing to complain about when you have so much choice for cheap communication.

Now, it's not something your average android would know about, heck by the time Datachaser rolls around, modems would be ancient technology, and basically only tele comm experts and historians would know about them.

- but -

High security people would know about it too, and may be the very last practitioners of it.
They may even know about carrier pigeons !
People, such as, the Cassians.
megados 18th Jun 2018, 2:45 PM edit delete reply

If androids can change their speedspeak protocol, and Ophelia knows the terminal's protocol, then yes she could do that, provided that the comm system has the capacity to get the display that HiFranc suggested. I wasn't aware that Ophelia would be capable of changing the rate or protocol, since speedspeak was supposed to be a more or less covert high speed means of audio communication. I sort of vaguely remember that some androids' speedspeech was not compatible with some others, and that was what leads me to believe they could not just change it on the fly.

As far as communicating to another person (android), it would probably depend on the other person knowing what means was being used, and being proficient in that means. If carrier pigeons are being used, for instance, the intended recipient needs to be aware that a pigeon might be sent. :D
Sheela 19th Jun 2018, 1:20 AM edit delete reply

Indeed, carrier pigeon technology can be a bit fussy about that sort of thing !

Also, they are tasty. :)
KarToon12 14th Jun 2018, 4:25 PM edit delete reply

No worries; a new page is always worth the wait, especially one as funny as this. XD
Bullwinkle 14th Jun 2018, 5:21 PM edit delete reply
If memory serves Luna coms logo is the as the Romulan empires in star trek.
Centcomm 17th Jun 2018, 8:33 AM edit delete reply

heres the fixed link removed the link spam - sorry
Sheela 18th Jun 2018, 8:11 AM edit delete reply

testing :


Edit 1 :

Nope, that didn't work either, but sometimes image boards don't like "https" and want "http" instead. But no such luck this time.

I guess you'll just have to settle for a link instead.

Edit 2 :

Another test :

robnot 18th Jun 2018, 10:15 AM edit delete reply
YES.. that's the ascendancy one.. which vaguely looks like it
the old one looked like a upside down pyramid..
Centcomm 18th Jun 2018, 4:33 PM edit delete reply

how did you do that! :D
robnot 18th Jun 2018, 10:12 AM edit delete reply
no no don't be sorry... thanks .. that looks lot better.!
Sheela 19th Jun 2018, 1:22 AM edit delete reply

I simply reduced the link to a link that was an image link.

Notice, it ends on .png
PNG = Portable Network Graphics
Johninaustin 15th Jun 2018, 7:17 AM edit delete reply
Cockmothering Fuckwomble? I am SO going to have to work that into a sentence!
Sheela 15th Jun 2018, 7:44 AM edit delete reply

No! .. No Rose, you will not be given favorable considerations, since no fucks were given to begin with, about the lateness of the page!
All I want to know is, are you two ladies allright ?
We worry about you two, y'know?
chk 15th Jun 2018, 1:41 PM edit delete reply

Well said Sheela.
BullwinkleI 15th Jun 2018, 5:34 PM edit delete reply
If major asshole is lucky Ophellia will include this in her official report. If he isn't she will have a private talk with her sisters.It's amazing what you can live through!
Ebonbolt 18th Jun 2018, 8:12 PM edit delete reply

Demotion from Major Asshole to Private Asshole is too lenient. Maybe from Major Asshole to private asshole.
megados 19th Jun 2018, 5:44 AM edit delete reply


(I see what you did there)
Naesten 16th Jun 2018, 6:08 PM edit delete reply
You broke the layout!
megados 17th Jun 2018, 5:46 AM edit delete reply

Copy and pasting long URLs without making a link will cause it.

robnot isn't logged in, so he can't edit it.
robnot 17th Jun 2018, 7:27 AM edit delete reply
2 things,, 1, i suffer from CRS,, i do this so rarely ,, that im lucky just to remember how to do this..
an 2, i CAN'T logg in..
megados 17th Jun 2018, 8:25 AM edit delete reply

I wasn't blaming you, @robnot, I was just trying to explain it to Naesten. :D
Centcomm 17th Jun 2018, 8:36 AM edit delete reply

ok removed the http spam and added a link above. or at least a shorter one
Sevian 18th Jun 2018, 9:35 AM edit delete reply


I have this sudden urge to frolick naked through my barren field of fucks, middle fingers raised high, whilst screaming loudly "fuck all you cockmothering fuckwombles"!

I don't entirely even know why, but I feel it would be quite incredibly, epic.

Well, done!
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