Comic 1570 - Old "Friend"

24th Jul 2018, 9:00 PM
Old "Friend"
Average Rating: 5 (21 votes)

Author Notes:

Centcomm 1st Aug 2018, 8:50 PM edit delete
Sorry about the delay in the page - i got my new Bipap machine and today has been one long nap. its also been a horrendous week. Any assistance would be appreciated :D

im hopping to get this page done and out the door soon.
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dpallee 24th Jul 2018, 9:03 PM edit delete reply

Dang, could he be any more suave? Lol, great job.
megados 24th Jul 2018, 9:16 PM edit delete reply

There was a discussion where the question was raised about how Ophelia would do in a fight with this body; it looks like the answer will be coming shortly! ;) She might be about to vent some frustration.

I like the inset between panel 4 and the last panel. Her gasket just blew! :D
Siren 1st Aug 2018, 10:47 PM edit delete reply
I imagine if you put a Cassian brain in a toaster, the Cassian would still be able to take down most targets.
megados 2nd Aug 2018, 7:30 AM edit delete reply

So. . . they'd be . . . toast? :D
Sevian 24th Jul 2018, 9:41 PM edit delete reply

Something tells me this puppy lover is about to get neutered.
FjolsvithAase 24th Jul 2018, 9:42 PM edit delete reply
As Scooby would say, "Rut Roh!"
Haegan2005 24th Jul 2018, 9:56 PM edit delete reply

This is when we realize WHY he does not have a girl friend.
SeanR 1st Aug 2018, 8:04 PM edit delete reply
I have to imagine that in a world with a significant gender disparity, a member of the lesser represented gender would have to seriously try, or be personally very undesirable, not to be able to attract some mate.
Haegan2005 1st Aug 2018, 8:11 PM edit delete reply

much agreement!
DLKmusic 24th Jul 2018, 9:56 PM edit delete reply

You know, if Jinfeng WANT'S to volunteer to be a physical & emotional punching bag, who are we to stop him!
plymayer 24th Jul 2018, 9:58 PM edit delete reply

Far too many idiots like him in the real world.
knuut 24th Jul 2018, 10:18 PM edit delete reply
Did they bother to transfer Ophelia's inhibitor when they put her in the Pauline body?
velvetsanity 24th Jul 2018, 10:56 PM edit delete reply

Cassians’ inhibitors are built into their synthbrains, so yes. However, it’s not exactly a standard sort of inhibitor because of their role/duty...
Just_IDD 25th Jul 2018, 1:40 AM edit delete reply
Ophelia's inhibitor won't prevent her from hurting a human. However is much as I would enjoy seeing his insides I think she would just be better off giving him the biggest atomic wedgie he is ever had in his life. It would be much more demeaning. And probably just about as much fun for Ophelia. :) that way then she could come back and talk to him and her regular chassis and really watch him shit bricks.
mjkj 24th Jul 2018, 11:42 PM edit delete reply

uh-oh, he is digging so fast...

poor Ophie...
kraznor 25th Jul 2018, 12:24 AM edit delete reply
I hope Ophelia's bitch likes pain as he's about to be put in a world of pain
Greenwood Goat 25th Jul 2018, 2:33 AM edit delete reply
Well, previous assessments stand, but she's not facing a team of gutters here... in fact, despite her obviously diminished combat ability, it looks like she would more than have the measure of this talking asshole.

Opaulinia: D'you know, with my cassian body, my advanced combat programs, the high performance required in the situations that I faced, not to mention the image we were all supposed to project, I had never even considered kicking an opponent in the groin. Let alone three times in succession...

Jinfeng (on his hands and knees): *moans with pain* F... f-fucking bi- *takes another groin kick from Opaulinia* AAAAAGH!!

Opaulinia: And it feels so satisfying! Every. Damn. Time! In fact... *entirely gratuitous groin kick* :-)

Jinfeng: AAAAAAaaa- *gulk* *bloooogh!*

Opaulinia: And now he's throwing up! I've made people lose control of their bodies before, but not like this! This is like a whole new world to me! :-D

Ivy: *snerk* I second that satisfaction. But we might wanna move along before any of his friends show up... *waves hand in general direction*

Opaulinia: Wait- he has friends?!

Ivy & Jordan: *laughter*

Jinfeng: *cough* *groan* *attempts to crawl away*

Opaulinia: *stamps on his backside, sending him sprawling forward onto the vomit pool* Well, let's go then! *struts off, stepping on Jinfeng's back*

Ivy & Jordan: *follow*

Opaulinia, Ivy & Jordan: *laughter* *link hands* *GIRLFRIEND BOND FORMED*

Zarra 25th Jul 2018, 6:42 AM edit delete reply
I approve of this
Karyl 25th Jul 2018, 7:13 AM edit delete reply
Certainly worth a week's wait to see the take-down!
Tom 25th Jul 2018, 7:47 AM edit delete reply
I wonder if he thinks this is a new Tsundere variant. Regardless let's all slowly back away from today's Darwin nominee.
Guest 25th Jul 2018, 3:01 PM edit delete reply
There's no "dere" here.
Morituri 25th Jul 2018, 8:10 AM edit delete reply
Broad Hint; If you *actually* want to go home with someone, it really helps to start by being nice to people in general. You'll never notice meeting someone you might have fallen madly in love with (or even just madly in bed with), if you drive people away immediately after meeting them by just being a jerk.

There are some other good reasons to avoid being a jerk, and I have a feeling that this fellow will eventually become acquainted with them.

Sadly - probably not now. Ophelia is more likely to be discovering just how woeful are the combat limitations of this new body than she is to be successfully schooling someone on her first try.
robnot 25th Jul 2018, 9:13 AM edit delete reply
this is going to fun ,, in 2 ways..
1st how clown gets his ass handed to him..
2nd is when feelie realizes HOW weak an slow this body is..
megados 25th Jul 2018, 3:55 PM edit delete reply

Weak? Compared to her old body, sure. Slow? Not necessarily. I think Cassians know how to get the most out of it. :D
HiFranc 25th Jul 2018, 5:07 PM edit delete reply

I see her, having twisted his arms behind his back, getting him to listen to why they’re there.
robnot 26th Jul 2018, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
yes yes,, i meant compared...
Eli Cosmanis 25th Jul 2018, 10:01 AM edit delete reply

someones not walking away without a pounding.
Talewinds 26th Jul 2018, 5:34 PM edit delete reply
You are assuming he will have legs.
Johninaustin 25th Jul 2018, 10:24 AM edit delete reply
Oh Good!! Pain and mayhem on a jerk.. You guys always bring me the very best violence. :)
Lurker314 25th Jul 2018, 12:39 PM edit delete reply
Given that a certain amount of torture is part of the repertoire of the cassians, Ophi's knowledge of the human body is almost certainly...extensive. Any of you deal with a jujitsu master? The amount of force needed to inflict truly mind-blowing pain is about half a pound in many cases.

She may be profoundly weak and slow compared to her usual shell, but that doesn't matter.
Centcomm 25th Jul 2018, 5:27 PM edit delete reply

laughs softly
Speedy 26th Jul 2018, 6:42 PM edit delete reply
I predict that what follows will be caught on camera, and Jinfeng will become famous as the recipient of the first Commander Pauline Testicle Pinch. And, after thousands of years, the Vulcan nerve pinch will have finally met its match.

Either that, or she'll just deliver a kick so swift that it'll leave him choking on his testes.
Gilrandir 25th Jul 2018, 6:38 PM edit delete reply
The screens in the background are mildly amusing, trying to intuit what they say.

But the thing that really provoked this comment was the need to compliment @Centcomm after I looked at the last panel for the third or fourth time. Jinfeng revealed himself as a crude, rude and irritating nuisance right away. (Kudos to @Tokyo Rose for the dialogue.) And immediately the comment section went wild with all the speculation about how Ophelia was going to respond to harassment and abuse with grievous bodily assault -- which just isn't how I see Cassians. (Sorry for all none of you out there disappointed by my personal, unsubstantiated opinion.)

But then I remembered ... this is @Centcomm, and one of the things she does better than just about anybody else is dynamics, so I looked at that last panel again. I may be mistaken, but it appears to me that, while Jinfeng is talking about playing with Ophelia's breasts, he is also reaching for them with the sublime arrogant assurance of one who cannot conceive that his 'generous offer' will be refused. I don't think, thought-balloon notwithstanding, any mere verbal assault would spur Ophelia to action; but, if he crosses the line to actual sexual battery, I suspect the cheering section will get everything they are hoping for in an entirely justified fashion. And (for me, at least) it is all that subtle sense of motion in the last panel that really sells it.
DLKmusic 26th Jul 2018, 4:48 PM edit delete reply

@Gilrandir: For a change, you and I are on exactly the same page!

Although there is still the issue of anything she does might cause a delay in leaving for Nova Roma, but some delays are worth it!
Lurker314 27th Jul 2018, 12:36 AM edit delete reply
As they say--some folks REALLY know how to jump up & down that scale...
KarToon12 25th Jul 2018, 7:45 PM edit delete reply

She is NOT having a good day.

Also, I'll have to save that "walking asshole" comment actual walking asshole next time I see one. XD
Rashala 25th Jul 2018, 11:35 PM edit delete reply

I see a great deal of repressed and redirected rage about to make this guy's day one of the worst in his possibly soon to be hospital bed bound eating through a straw life
robnot 26th Jul 2018, 8:50 AM edit delete reply
thank you.. (@Rashala.)
i had forgotten Feelies. bad day to worst back story..
soo yeah "Asshat" gets to see what "Commander Pauline" can DO..
.. an Jordan & Ivy might have to make a few minor repairs...
Hornet 26th Jul 2018, 6:08 AM edit delete reply
At least he's being honest about what he wants. Most people want what he wants but being that they can't just come out and say it the play around with the whole "relationship" thing.
Zarra 26th Jul 2018, 2:01 PM edit delete reply
Time to play the Nutcracker... Not the musical or dancing one >:D
Fairportfan 6th Aug 2018, 11:38 PM edit delete reply

"Proud of that thing you got, are you?"

"Whip it out, and I'll show you something you never saw before."


"The other end."
Oldarmourer 22nd Aug 2018, 3:34 AM edit delete reply
love it, passed it on to a few friends I know will get good use from it. Let me know where to send royalties.
Kitty 26th Jul 2018, 4:40 PM edit delete reply
Ah well nice knowin' ya dude...on second thought we didn't like you anyway. Bye now!
Speedy 26th Jul 2018, 8:37 PM edit delete reply
Is it just me, or does Jinfeng remind anyone of actor B.D. Wong, when he was young?

Maybe it's just that Jinfeng is about to end up on the wrong end of a Law & Order SVU investigation.
Oldarmourer 1st Aug 2018, 6:14 PM edit delete reply
I'm thinking he's going to end up on the wrong side of a "Lawn & Order" sod laying...

aka "pushing up daisies to welcome the sun and the morning dew" ;)
Romfire 26th Jul 2018, 8:49 PM edit delete reply
I would think that some of the things that makes a Cassian so good at fighting is things like enhanced reflex and reaction time. Both of those would be part of her synth brain and so she would be far faster and deadlier than a normal android. So although her temp body would be less than optimal, she would still be Very dangerous. Add to that dedicated battle subroutines and faster tactical processing and even far "stronger" bots would not be able to even get a hit in.
Hornet 27th Jul 2018, 5:33 AM edit delete reply
While the Brain might be wired to handle the increased data speeds the actions themselves are still going to be limited by the physics of the body that brain is in.
Ebonbolt 27th Jul 2018, 12:13 AM edit delete reply

Now, see, "let me break her in for you" sounds an awful lot like a bot chucking its servos before it moves. Or at least chucking its chances before it has any. More than anything else, I think him treating her like a non-entity is what will provoke Ophelia the most.
DLKmusic 27th Jul 2018, 4:42 PM edit delete reply

I'm not sure, Ebonbolt.... Android or human, being called a whore, even indirectly, isn't going to sit well with anyone!
Ebonbolt 28th Jul 2018, 9:04 PM edit delete reply

True enough, but he's not even calling her a whore, more like a sex-toy. He's not even talking to her, just about her, like an appliance.
Just_IDD 8th Aug 2018, 6:02 AM edit delete reply
Then perhaps he should go get cozy with a medkit.
Gilrandir 27th Jul 2018, 5:29 AM edit delete reply
Allow me to remind people that much was made of the need for TeeDee to train extensively to fully integrate her existing combat skills and reflexes with her new body when she was given the Sprite chassis. No such foundation has been laid for Ophelia having done anything of the kind in her current body. What does this mean? Nothing. There is no way to predict how well (or poorly) any of her expertise will translate. But those who argued that such retraining on TeeDee's part was gratuitous and seemed unnecessary were shouted down in the past. (For a sufficiently polite and respectful form of the term 'shouted'. ^_^)
megados 27th Jul 2018, 5:55 AM edit delete reply

I'll take a wait-and-see attitude. It was posed that TeeDee had to train up to be able to fulfill her entire role adequately. Here, Ophelia has one person, possibly not trained in any kind of fighting, and completely unsuspecting. Ophelia is at least trained to fight, and although she probably couldn't perform to 'Cassian level' in this body, I suspect she has some surprises.
robnot 27th Jul 2018, 8:39 AM edit delete reply
trained to fight...this the problem im talking about,, new body ,, Both were trained to fight, but now in new body.. there will be problems..
example: me an partner sparring , im 5'5" she is 6' 4",, now i spar some one my size, goes poorly cause now i don't know how to spar that low...
now, if "Feelie" has never body swapped ,, she was roughly six foot, now she is roughly five foot,, that difference is going to make a world of difference.. again example:: partner had breast reduction, (removed 3 pounds) took a week to walk correctly , an a month to use the stairs..
wright1 27th Jul 2018, 7:54 AM edit delete reply
Keep digging, dude. You'll strike white-hot magma any second now...
Ebonbolt 29th Jul 2018, 6:34 PM edit delete reply

I'd say his hand is about 12-15 inches from death. Just a guess.
Romfire 27th Jul 2018, 8:12 PM edit delete reply
After this incident unfolds, I would like to see Ophelia meet an actual gentleman. Just to restore our faith in the male gender. Jinfeng and his like have to be in the minority or the human race is most certainly doomed.
robnot 28th Jul 2018, 6:39 AM edit delete reply
sooo Feelie needs to meet Mr. Black..
Gilrandir 28th Jul 2018, 11:48 AM edit delete reply
I would be very surprised if Ophelia has not already met Maxus. Probably Setorius as well.

Of course, no plausible number of individual samples could possibly represent any significant sample size when compared to humanity as a whole, so if Ophelia formed any opinions, good or bad, about human males as a species, it would necessarily be without justification -- if that were her only basis. Meeting one or two additional 'nice guys' would be unlikely to have any significant effect.

Democlus, however, does need a new girlfriend.
DLKmusic 28th Jul 2018, 8:49 PM edit delete reply

@Romfire: It's kinda Ironic, but her squad was mostly male, and she got along well with all of them, respected them and had their respect. and they got wiped out to a man.
Sheela 30th Jul 2018, 3:57 AM edit delete reply

actually, that must sting somewhat fierce.
I wonder how she is doing mentally ?
megados 30th Jul 2018, 5:52 AM edit delete reply

I'm sure it has to sting somewhat, but that was just the starting point of her day. :( She was probably still doing OK at that point. She was stoically going on, as more and more got piled on her plate, though, and this guy is the topper.

Cassians would have to have a lot of emotional control to be able to do what they do, but I would suppose there are limits.
Combat Medic Z 29th Jul 2018, 7:02 PM edit delete reply

*readies medkit*

"Oh, hey Ophelia, mind holding this combat knife for a moment while I check this kit?"
robnot 31st Jul 2018, 8:01 AM edit delete reply
now.. you have to deal with massive blood loss an punctures, an lacerations ..
instead of just soft tissue damage, contusions, compound an broken fractures, some internal bleeding, an a concussion ...
mind you i have "Quick-Clot" an "New Skin"... but I don't have enough to fix, ginsu ed sushi ...
Eldoran 31st Jul 2018, 10:03 AM edit delete reply
I can understand the suggestions on immediate (physical) punishment, however considering how much potential he showed in putting his foot in his mouth - wouldn't serving a few years in New Rome's communications department together with the charming twins we met a few pages ago as community service be a far better option?
megados 31st Jul 2018, 11:47 AM edit delete reply

But who are you really punishing there? Him or the general public? ;)
Eldoran 31st Jul 2018, 1:38 PM edit delete reply
I thought both him and the twins. The should both trample on each others nerve.
Sheela 31st Jul 2018, 5:32 PM edit delete reply

As much as I want Feelie to curb-stomp this guy, lets not forget this is the future, and he may be cybered up like Marcus is.
We don't know how tough he might be.
… oorrrr he's a total wimp. >_<
Oldarmourer 1st Aug 2018, 1:48 PM edit delete reply
I have been privilged to witness the aftermath of the look on Feelie's face in the final panel twice that I remember, both times ended badly with first aid and laughter both being directed toward the one responsible for said look. There is no other possible outcome once 'the look' has been given.
megados 2nd Aug 2018, 9:33 AM edit delete reply

@Centcomm, re: A/N, Bipap is a CPAP with more than one rate because of heart condition?
Centcomm 2nd Aug 2018, 2:39 PM edit delete reply

I can't tolerate the constant pressure of a cpap so they decided a bipap would be best 😁
megados 2nd Aug 2018, 5:46 PM edit delete reply

Well, you caused me to look this up, and that caused me to learn something. :D


I hope it works out! *hug*
Just_IDD 8th Aug 2018, 6:14 AM edit delete reply
You're lucky. I can't tollerate the mask while I'm sleeping. So now I have a choice flat for my back or sitting up to get a good night sleep.
Centcomm 8th Aug 2018, 2:22 PM edit delete reply

the mask can be a royal pain.
Oldarmourer 2nd Aug 2018, 9:35 AM edit delete reply

Grabbed a big boob in either hand
Doo-dah Doo-dah
And now I see the promised land
Oh Doo-Dah-Day
Honked one on the left
Honked one on the right
It's all gone dark, I can't feel my legs
Head toward the light

Thank you, I'll be here all week,try the veal
and tip your waitress ;)
DLKmusic 3rd Aug 2018, 2:41 PM edit delete reply

Not bad, but dude! Please tune that banjo!!!
Oldarmourer 4th Aug 2018, 4:24 PM edit delete reply
Just paddle faster....
Bullwinkle 4th Aug 2018, 4:39 PM edit delete reply
I predict that Jinfeng will wake up in Rome,as a slave to a certain Cassian
StLOrca 7th Aug 2018, 5:02 PM edit delete reply

So smoove. So very, very smoove.
Lurker314 14th Sep 2020, 10:10 AM edit delete reply
I cannot believe it's taken me this many times to notice, but...

Commander Pauline is SO CUTE in that inset!

I mean--we all think of her as Ophelia, and rightly so, but... JUST LOOK.

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