Comic 1572 - Ongoing Conflict

14th Aug 2018, 9:00 PM
Ongoing Conflict
Average Rating: 5 (23 votes)

Author Notes:

Tokyo Rose 14th Aug 2018, 9:00 PM edit delete
Tokyo Rose
Incidentally, the song "Cell Block Tango" from the musical Chicago is a grade-A, first-class fucking ear worm.
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StLOrca 14th Aug 2018, 9:08 PM edit delete reply

The script for this page is HILARIOUS. Well done. Jeff will be known as “Rapeface” for the rest of his life.
Sheela 16th Aug 2018, 6:55 AM edit delete reply

You know what would be really funny ?

If the whole incident is filed under "Rapeface Jeff" and not his real name. :D
StLOrca 16th Aug 2018, 4:51 PM edit delete reply

Yes—it should be canon!
Rigor 16th Aug 2018, 5:22 PM edit delete reply
Security probably has a file on him already, so they can simply add “rapeface” to his list of aliases.
megados 14th Aug 2018, 9:22 PM edit delete reply

I think everybody's day is going south. Now Ivy and Jordan are getting dragged into it. Dialogue here had me laughing; great job!

@Tokyo Rose, re:A/N, I haven't heard it yet; I'll have to look it up. BTW good to see you out and about. :D

*edit* @Tokyo Rose, I looked it up, and I had heard it; I didn't know the name of it. I can see your point if you hear it enough.
Lurker314 14th Aug 2018, 9:33 PM edit delete reply
It will be interesting to see if fuck am depot security has enough clearance to be able to validate that he is dealing with a Cassian. If not, this could be an even more fun day...

But I know you two. You two aren't THAT evil...
kraznor 14th Aug 2018, 11:39 PM edit delete reply
There not ?
Lurker314 30th Oct 2020, 1:29 AM edit delete reply
Never. Not even once. I'm shocked, shocked! that you would think otherwise.
Evervigilant 15th Aug 2018, 1:08 AM edit delete reply
Tokyo Rose, just about every song in Chicago is like that. My favorite is Mr Cellophane.
Sheela 16th Aug 2018, 6:54 AM edit delete reply

Ah, she may be complaining because I linked to cell Block Tango in a post - That's what she gets for following my links! >_<

And yes, the Mr Cellophane song was really good, and heart wrenching, talk about weapon grade self-loathing there! Frankly, that one number was the whole reason for that guy in the whole movie.
megados 16th Aug 2018, 7:02 AM edit delete reply

That's where I heard it before!
Abibliboop 17th Aug 2018, 2:58 PM edit delete reply
OMG John C Reilly sells it SOOOO well too. Such a well done song and scene.
Sheela 18th Aug 2018, 8:12 AM edit delete reply

Yeah, the Mr Cellophane song starts off a little weak, but the second half where he begins to get angry, is just brilliant.
Greenwood Goat 15th Aug 2018, 1:41 AM edit delete reply
I can see that happening...

Security: Now, don't give me any trouble Pauline!Ophelia-

Ivy: How d'you manage to pronounce the pling?!

Security: It's an android thing... Pauline!Ophelia, we're not lawless here, and you're going to have to account for what you did to Rape-Face Jeff-


Security: It is now - I've added it as an AKA on your record.


Opaulinia: Yeah! His name's actually "Twatwaffle".


Security: ..."Twatwaffle" has also been added as an AKA on your record.


Opaulinia: Add "Cactus-Humping Shitboot" as well!

Security: That's enough from you. I'm sure Mister Twatwaffle is going to start behaving himself now - you should too.

Jordan: Queue up "Talking Asshole" for addition as well, just in case. Oh, and "Prettyboy". And "Catamite". I've actually got a whole list of them for future use, if you're interested... :-D

DLKmusic 15th Aug 2018, 10:21 AM edit delete reply

Mr. Twatwaffle...

JinFeng: That's "MR. TWATWAFFLE" to you, Bot-Bitch!
Ophelia: And that's "MS. BOT-BITCH" to you, you wank.... Mr. Twatwaffle!

LOL, I'm dyin here!
Sheela 16th Aug 2018, 7:19 AM edit delete reply

Oh man, that is hilarious.

Of course, it could always get worse :

Security : "…"
Security : "Actually .."
Jinfeng : "What ?"
Security : "I think I'll just file the report under the name, 'Rape-face Jeff' .."
Jinfeng : "What the fuck?"
Security : "Hrmph, it won't let me, it says your real name is Jeff Jinfeng, how annoying."
Jinfeng : "That's because it's my REAL name!"
Security : "Real name, huh ?"
Jinfeng : "Yeah!"
Security : "Ah, I managed to change it!"
Jinfeng : "Wait, what?"
Security : "It even got confirmed by the Tokyo Rose AI."
Jinfeng : "WHAAAT?!"
Security : "Ooohh, she has additional aliases for you."
Security : "Cockmuthering Fuckwomble"
Security : "Failed Abortion"
Security : "Fudge Packer"
Security : "Ass Goblin"
Jinfeng : "... hey!"
Security : "Cum Bubble"
Security : "Fuck Stain"
Security : "Douche Sucker"
Security : "Cock Smoker"
Jinfeng : " .. wha.. hey .."
Security : "Butt Moocher"
Security : "Piece of Cum Cake"
Security : "Scrotum Breath"
Security : "Shit Licker"
Jinfeng : "..wait..wait.."
Security : "Schmuck"
Security : "Douchewaffle"
Security : "Useless Moron"
Security : "Queef Guzzler"
Security : "Pathetic Parasite"
Security : "Vaginal Bloodfart"
Jinfeng : "OH COME ON !!!!!"
Jinfeng : "That's going too far!"
Security : "Hmm."
Security : "I agree, I think she went too far there with the 'Piece of CumCake'."
Security : "I've met people who would pay good money for quality Cum Cake!"
Security : "I'll strike that off the list, it would be a stain on good Cum Cake to be connected to you."
Security : "...."
Security : "Oh, there's a second addendum to the list, wanna hear?"
Jinfeng : "NO!"
Security : "Aw"
Sevian 17th Aug 2018, 6:52 AM edit delete reply


This guy has barely been around five minutes and I think he's already received more titles than Decimus ever did.
Sheela 18th Aug 2018, 8:10 AM edit delete reply

Yeah, well … I blame Rose, she started it !

.. y'know .. *that* Rose !
The thorny one !


Click here for full version.
robnot 19th Aug 2018, 9:40 PM edit delete reply
? happy now.???
Sheela 19th Aug 2018, 11:35 PM edit delete reply

Oh yes, I'm lovin' it. :)
Greenwood Goat 20th Aug 2018, 3:27 AM edit delete reply
Security: And this is new - "male prostitute".

Jinfeng: (grumble) Fuck off...

Jordan: Really? 'Bit prosaic for Rose, 'specially after all those-

Security: No, it's his stated occupation now. Rose must have gone deep into his records-

Jinfeng: Fuck OFF! She can't-

Security: She has. You're health-certified and everything! Due a checkup in a couple of days, though. I'll print you out your whore's ID.


Guy: *sidles out of alley* The swishy little poseur with the quiff?

Other guy: *stops lounging against wall* He got him a purdy mouth...

Jinfeng: eeep! *inches away from them* I am NOT swishy!!

Security: Yes you are! It's right there on your record, Mr. Swishy. And among your distinguishing features: "mouth distinctly purdy". *clips prostitute registration card to Jinfeng's belt* Have fun, gentlemen.

Ivy: Do you think Tokyo Rose is watching us in realtime, or just thinks ahead?

Opaulinia: Both, I expect. :-)

Gilrandir 20th Aug 2018, 9:21 AM edit delete reply
Technically Jinfeng is included in Tokyo Rose's remit.

Why do you think she's so grumpy all the time?
Eli Cosmanis 15th Aug 2018, 2:58 AM edit delete reply

surprised hes not flinging more insults. people tend to be angry when their arm is broken.
Fafhred 15th Aug 2018, 3:03 AM edit delete reply

* Wonders if she will have to break that guard-bot, too *
Sleel 15th Aug 2018, 3:55 AM edit delete reply

And so, Jeff acquires a more descriptive name. One wonders how long it takes till everyone in the depot calls him Rape Face. Or maybe RFJ.
Romfire 15th Aug 2018, 3:56 AM edit delete reply
I am just wondering if androids have any kind of rights in this back water dive. Other than the right to have their brain squished.
DLKmusic 15th Aug 2018, 10:27 AM edit delete reply

I was kind of wondering the same thing, although if this is the same area where Marcus & TeeDee had their fight, then the answer would be yes.
Sheela 16th Aug 2018, 1:13 PM edit delete reply

Considering that the security guy is an android, I would tend towards "yes".
Tom 15th Aug 2018, 5:52 AM edit delete reply
Does anyone else here Benedict Cumberbatch as the voice of depot security?
robnot 15th Aug 2018, 8:22 AM edit delete reply
I do now.!! ,, snirk...
Centcomm 18th Aug 2018, 7:13 AM edit delete reply

Speedy 19th Sep 2018, 10:25 AM edit delete reply
I was gonna say, that Sherlock typecasting lasted a bloody long time!
Hell's Dragonfly 15th Aug 2018, 10:41 AM edit delete reply
So many laughs in this comic. Those are some truly inventive insults; kudos Rose. IMO Mr. Fuck Am Depot Security must be getting a chuckle out of Mr. Cactus Humping, Rape Face, Twatwaffles predicament.
Naldru 15th Aug 2018, 11:33 AM edit delete reply
I can see an argument for monetary damages, and New Rome would probably be willing to pay for medical expenses. However, Ophelia might also be willing to pay for a billboard based on the MasterCard commercials: cost of medical expenses xxx dollars, fine for disorderly conduct yyy dollars, the look on rape-face wanker's face - priceless.
KarToon12 15th Aug 2018, 2:16 PM edit delete reply

The dialogue on this entire page is gold and deserves an Oscar. XD
jamie59 15th Aug 2018, 3:31 PM edit delete reply

"Ah. OK. Just don't leave a mess when you're done."
Haegan2005 15th Aug 2018, 5:04 PM edit delete reply

okay, this is just bodacious!

Had me laughing so hard!

Some people need marine boot camp just to get a clue, nevermind act on it!
Tom 17th Aug 2018, 5:17 AM edit delete reply
Bodacious. Now there is a word I have not heard or read in a long time. Makes me feel nostalgic.
Rashala 15th Aug 2018, 11:53 PM edit delete reply

I have a feeling when she reveals who she is that guy and security are both gonna agree rapeface is lucky she "just" broke his arm.
Sheela 16th Aug 2018, 1:03 PM edit delete reply

Not sure, she may be outside of her jurisdiction.
Deoxy 16th Aug 2018, 1:40 PM edit delete reply
Oh, she's definitely outside her official jurisdiction, but amazingly dangerous groups like the Cassians are generally going to be able to act as though they have jurisdiction in any area reasonably close by... with "reasonably" being pretty flexible, depending on how dangerous and how near to a more serious counter influence (New Troy, for instance) they are.

Any place closer to Nova Roma than New Troy is going to find subservience to Cassians to be very tempting (at least, in any kind of short-term situation - "Here, have whatever you want, as long as you GO AWAY afterwards").
megados 16th Aug 2018, 3:49 PM edit delete reply

I think the area can vary considerably, when one of their own is involved. :D
mjkj 17th Aug 2018, 1:07 AM edit delete reply

Wow, hard to calm down - and that one does not know when to shut up...

now, I am curious how security will handle that... =P
Gilrandir 19th Aug 2018, 3:36 AM edit delete reply
Inhibitor collar.

Which will (theoretically) have no effect on Ophelia -- but they won't know that. Or it might give her the equivalent of seizures. (Unlikely) Or maybe it will just fry the collar, adding to the bill she is racking up and contributing to the overall good will the local authorities are (no doubt) developing for her. ^_^
megados 19th Aug 2018, 4:58 AM edit delete reply

Logically, if her internal inhibitor is inactive, (which it seems to be) then adding an inhibitor collar should have whatever effect an inhibitor collar usually has. She's in an 'ordinary' body with no special shielding etc.

(That doesn't preclude the Creative Duo from throwing a curve! :D )
robnot 19th Aug 2018, 8:59 AM edit delete reply
her collar IS active..
she is not even close to what would set it off...
reminder.. she IS suppose to kill people,.! for the crown..
megados 19th Aug 2018, 9:05 AM edit delete reply

Right, it's operational, but not activated. I meant active as in actively doing something to modify her behavior. It has not been triggered by anything, so it's inactive right now.
Gilrandir 19th Aug 2018, 10:34 AM edit delete reply
I am inclined to agree with @robnot: an 'active passthrough' is not the same as 'inactive', which is why I hypothesize that an external inhibitor would not function as designed. But, given an android behaving in an unexpected and violent way, use of such a device would seem to be the logical first alternative for any kind of peacekeeping officer.

You can make the argument that the internal inhibitor 'upstream' could do nothing to prevent an external inhibitor 'downstream' from exerting physiologic control -- but that would make Cassians, in general, too vulnerable. I suspect the upstream inhibitor also tags the sense data and internal logic products of decision making such that the external inhibitor is unable to ever 'see' any reason to trigger -- thereby neutralizing it.
megados 19th Aug 2018, 11:17 AM edit delete reply

I think we're saying the same thing in different ways here. Being "switched on and operational" but not triggered is "not activated" in usual automation parlance. A single sensor, for instance, is powered up, shows green, and is ready, but it is waiting for an event, which would activate it, and cause an output.

I do make the argument, however, that the upstream inhibitor can not stop the downstream from exerting control, because this is not a Cassian body, but an ordinary android body which does not have any of the modifications or augmentations that a proper Cassian body would have. Thus, it would say nothing about vulnerabilities to Cassians in general. There is nothing preventing it being activated. Control is external. There would have to be some inductive and/or capacitive shielding to stop it from taking motor control. I don't think ordinary android bodies have any of that, or the inhibitor collars wouldn't work on any androids.

This Sequence is a reminder of what a collar can do. All the while, I would surmise the synth brain was sending 'good android' signals.

That's not to say that Ophelia herself can't prevent a collar being placed on her.

Again, that doesn't preclude the Creative Duo from throwing a curve.
Speedy 19th Sep 2018, 10:52 AM edit delete reply
Did I miss something, or was everyone so focused on Jeff's new aliases, that they totally neglected to ship Ophelia and The F' Am Station Security?

I mean, obviously everyone can see them making beautiful aliases, together.

I mean, Cumberbot was in Star Trek, Into Darkness, so he's at least got something in common with "Commander Pauline".
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