BABELFISH - TROLL TO STANDARD
Due to the impossibility of textually replicating the telepathic, empathic, pheromonal, and other components common to the languages of Epiphyte-derived lifeforms, all translations given here are approximate, not literal.
"Excuse me, madam, are you in need of assistance?"
"By Jove, you're in quite a state."
"Never fear, madam, I shan't do you any harm. I say, you look as if you've had a dreadful time of it."
"Excuse me, no need to trouble yourself - I can understand you."
"Do stay calm... do stay calm."
Yayy for help!!! =D
*puts on sunglasses*
THE CHODA WARRIAH.
G'Day, and don't forget to tip ya waitress.
I would have thought he would use a big club.
Ah well, what I really want to know, is what he's saying.
And now I'm trying to guess if you mean the old Altavista Babelfish website or dropped a Hitchhikers Guide reference.